


The Light.

by dracko



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Tommy Ratliff (Musician)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-17
Updated: 2017-06-01
Packaged: 2018-04-09 19:18:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 38,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4361147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dracko/pseuds/dracko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>~I am the fire and you are the rain, washing me out, you drown my flame~</p><p> </p><p>Son of a crime boss, Adam was good, the best.  When someone needed taken care of, Adam was who his father called.  He was brutal and savage.  He never left without confessions, and never left any witnesses.  Until the night he was sent to "take care" of a thief and his family.  Deep brown eyes stirred up thoughts he wasn't supposed to have, a life he thought was only possible in theory, brown eyes he couldn't kill.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Lies from my wickedly overactive brain.
> 
> There is violence, minor character death, love, lust, foul language, and redemption. 
> 
> Enjoy.

“So you thought you could steal money from my family and get away with it?”

 

“No!  I never stole any of your money.  Please.  Please, Adam.  Let my family go,”  the man begged.  He’d been tied to a dining room chair, alongside his wife and daughter.  About an hour earlier, the house had been ambushed by an armed assailant.  Fearing for the life of his daughter and beloved wife, he’d cooperated and allowed himself and his family to be tied up.  Now, with a gun pointed at his wife’s head, he saw the error of his ways.  He was slated for death that night.  He just prayed that his family would be spared.

 

Shaking his head, and making a “tsk, tsk” sound, Adam brought his hand holding the gun up to his face and rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand.  He’d known the job of taking out Vincent was going to be a pain in the ass.  He’d known the man since he was still in diapers, and Vincent had always been a pain in the ass.  Adam’s father, up until this point, had always gone easy on Vincent.  They’d grown up together, starting at the bottom and working their way up to the businessmen they’d become.  Unfortunately, Vincent had become greedy, and had stolen what was second most precious to Adam’s father...Money.

 

“Vincent, you know I love you.  You’re like the uncle I never had, but buisness is buisness.  You stole from that business, and now you must pay the price.”  Adam lowered the gun, pointed it at Vincent’s wife and pulled the trigger.

 

A loud scream pierced through the room as both Vincent and his wife screamed out at the same time.  Their daughter, Abigail, sat sobbing as her mother bled out next to her.  

 

Killing wasn’t Adam favorite thing in the world to do.  He’d rather be fucking some random twink on the street, than standing in the kitchen putting a bullet into the chest of a woman who’d helped raise him after his mother died.  Adam wished he could’ve shot Sue in the head, but what kind of message would it send if Vincent and family were allowed a quick death?  Slow and painful was the name of the game.  It earned respect, kept people in line.  Adam did have somewhat of a heart though.  Abigail and her mother were innocent in the grand scheme of things.  They were just collateral damage, something to make the last moments of Vincent’s life that much more painful before Adam lodged a bullet in his skull.

 

“No!  Please, I beg you.  Don’t hurt them!  Please, Don’t hurt them!”  Vincent screamed, spittle running down his chin.  He was thrashing against his restraints, trying to get loose to go to his dying wife.

 

“You should have thought about that before you stole from my father.”  Adam began to pace back and forth, breathing slow and steady.  He got no pleasure from the jobs he was sent to do.  He had no desire to cause anyone pain, he was a lover at heart.  But he’d been good at it.  He’d risen through the ranks from a young age, his father’s go-to when something needed to be “taken care of.”  It’d started small, intimidating a local shop owner that owed rent, busting a few kneecaps here and there.  Twelve years ago, at the tender age of eighteen, Adam’s father had sent him on his first job.  He’d been so efficient, so brutal, that he’d earned a place at his father’s side as second in command.  

 

Adam stopped pacing, got down on his knees in front of Vincent and looked up at the restrained man.  Vincent’s head was down, and he was sobbing loudly.  Adam jerked Vincent’s chin up harshly, so the man was forced to look Adam in the eyes.  “Why don’t you make this easy on yourself and your family and tell me what I want to know?”

 

“I don’t have-”  Adam cracked Vincent across the head with the butt of his gun.  He sighed deeply.  When would these people learn?  Adam wasn’t a monster.  He got no pleasure from torture.  If the individuals that wronged his father, his family, would just give information freely, he’d put them down quickly, humanely.

 

“Don’t lie to me, Vincent.  I’ve seen the paper trail.  I know you have the money.”  Adam wiped his gun across the fabric of Vincent pajama pants, smearing blood across his thigh.  “I can make this quick, or I can draw it out.  Your choice.”

 

“I swear, Adam.  I don’t have your money.”  Vincent turned to his wife, who was beginning to choke on the blood coming from the corner of her mouth.

 

“Don’t...tell....him...anything,”  Vincent’s wife said on a whisper.  She was fading fast, unable to utter a complete sentence in one breath.  She turned her head to Adam and laughed.  “We’ll never tell-”

 

The gun fired, and the women slumped forward as a single bullet entered her head.  Abigail screamed next to her, and Vincent yelled profanities.  “You motherfucker!  I’ll kill you!  I’ll fucking kill you!”  Vincent began thrashing against his restraints.  His violent jerks caused his chair to tip, and he landed on the floor with an “ump.”

 

“You’ll fucking kill me?”  Adam asked, laughing lightly under his breath.  “I hardly believe you’re in a position to threaten me.  Just give me what I want, and I’ll end this for you.”

 

“Never,”  Vincent said with venom in his voice.  For a dying man, he had guts.  He was playing unprotected in a lion’s den, and the lion was short on patience.

 

Adam sighed.  They never learned.  Any of them.  He’d have to do this the hard way.  Adam leaned over Abigail’s chair, just inches from her face.  She lifted her head, tears clouding her eyes, and stared at Adam with fear.  “Such a pretty girl.”

 

Vincent’s eyes went wide, and he frantically began to thrash again.  “No!  No!”

 

Adam ignored him.  “What are you, Abigail?  Nineteen, Twenty?”

 

“Nine...nineteen,”  Abigail whispered through tears.  She truly was innocent in the whole mess, but rules are rules, and lessons have to be learned.

 

“Nineteen.  Such a fine age.  Don’t you think, Vincent?”  Adam asked, reaching down and caressing the exposed skin of Abigail’s thigh with his knuckles.  “You know, Vincent, in some countries, your lovely daughter here would already be married to the highest bidder.  She’d be stuck with a man three times her age, forced to fuck him, suck him, do anything he wished of her.  She’d be nothing more than property to do with as her husband wished.”

 

“Please,”  Vincent pleaded.

 

“I’m not three times her age, Vincent,”  Adam smiled wickedly and pushed his hand up under the leg of her pajama shorts.  She whimpered, unable to move away from his touch as Vincent screamed from the floor.

 

“Get your fucking hands off her!”

 

Adam leaned forward and kissed Abigail on the forehead before moving his hand away from her body and standing back to his full height.  “Lucky for you, though a beautiful girl, Abigail isn’t my type.”  Adam laughed lightly.  It was just like Vincent to forget, or even ignore the fact that Adam had never been sensitive to the female population.  It was a well known fact that Adam only shared his bed with supple, willing, young men.  His father was very protective of his only son, and anyone who dared to disrespect his child because of his sexuality, quickly became public enemy number one.  

 

Adam stepped away from Abigail, and looked her in the eyes.  She was a beautiful girl.  She was full of life, and Adam remembered when she’d been a knock kneed little thing that looked up to him as her protector.  He loved Abigail.  She was the sister he’d never had.  But business was business, and she had to help pay for her father’s sins.  A sad looked passed through her eyes as she watched Adam raise the gun and point it at her head.

 

“I’m sorry, Abigail.  You shouldn’t have to suffer for your father's wrongdoings.  I’ll spare you.”  Adam pulled the trigger.”

  
  


“No!  No, no, no!  Not my little girl!  You said you’d spare her!  You asshole!  You said you’d spare her!”

 

Taking a moment to gather his emotions, Adam didn’t answer.  Killing Abigail was the hardest thing he’d ever done, and it pissed him off.  Adam walked over to Vincent and swiftly kicked him in the gut.  Squatting down next to the man, now gasping for air, Adam grabbed him by the hair and yanked his head up so Adam could look Vincent in the eyes.  “I said I’d spare her, as in I wouldn’t make her suffer.  I loved Abigail like a sister.  It’s your fault she’s dead.  Remember that.”

 

Pushing back on Vincent’s head as he let go, Adam stood up and crossed the room to his bag.  Obviously, killing Vincent’s wife and daughter wasn’t enough to get the portly man to talk.  It was time for phase two.  Adam unzipped his bag, and extracted the contents.  One by one, he laid out a collection of torture devices.  He had one for breaking knee caps, one for cutting off fingers, one for stripping skin, and a rainbow of gadgets to fit every torturous need.  Adam picked up the cutters and turned back to Vincent.  He walked over and pulled the man’s chair off the ground. Once in a sitting position again, Adam took Vincent’s pinkie and placed it between the blades.

 

“Fifteen knuckles per hand.  We’ll start with this one,”  Adam said right before he squeezed the handle and sliced through the first knuckle of Vincent’s pinkie.  Vincent screamed out in pain, but said nothing.  Stubborn bastard.  Off came knuckle number two.  

 

Adam made it through seven knuckles, prepping number eight for amputation before Vincent finally broke.  He didn’t tell Adam where the money was, but told him he’d stolen it.  Right before Adam put a bullet in his brain, Vincent taunted Adam that he’d never find it.

 

Adam sighed as he looked at the three lifeless bodies at his feet.  He really hated the violence, the brutality that his job entailed.  If he had his way, he’d run off to no-man’s land and live a quiet, peaceful life.  But it wasn’t that easy to get away from his life.  Especially when you’d been born into it.  His mother had wanted Adam to go to college and move far away from his father’s world.  She’d fallen in love with Adam’s father at a very young age, smitten from their very first meeting.  By the time she’d realized what she’d married into, she was already married and Adam was a toddler.  She’d hated every aspect of the life, but she’d loved Adam’s father, and with him, she and her son had a certain kind of protection that would not have been afforded to them if she’d left.  She hadn’t been unhappy, but she’d always wished better for her son.  Luckily, she’d died before she had to see Adam turn into a monster.  Cancer had taken her when Adam had only been eight.  He’d been left to be raised by his father’s influence.  From there, the rest was history.

 

Meticulously moving through the room, Adam gathered any and all things that could be evidence to show he’d been in the house.  Though he always wore gloves, he made sure that there were no hairs, no fibers, or anything else that could be used to identify him. Once he was confident that he’d gotten everything, he packed up his bag.

 

As he turned, headed for the back door to make his escape, the door behind him clicked open.  He froze in place.

 

“Hey dad, I’m-”  The voice was cut off.  Adam slowly turned to see a petite blond staring at the floor that held three dead bodies.  The young man looked up at Adam with big, brown, terrified eyes.  

 

Adam’s eyes locked with the young man’s.  Adam should have been freaked the fuck out, thinking he just got caught.  He should be unholstering his gun, and putting a bullet between the guy’s eyes, but his hands were still at his sides.  His whole body was frozen as he stared into beautiful, frightened eyes.  The breath caught in his lungs and his heart rate accelerated.  Adam couldn’t think, couldn’t move past the beauty that was crouched on the floor in front of him.  Though the terror was apparent in the young man’s face, he too seemed to be frozen in place.

 

A look of curiosity flared in the blond’s eyes a split second before reality came crashing down.  He jumped to his feet and pivoted toward the door.  He made it two frantic steps before Adam broke out of his trance and grabbed the fleeing boy.  Adam wrapped an arm around his waist and brought the other up to cover the boy’s mouth with his hand.  “Shh,” Adam whispered softly into the young man’s ear.

 

Adam walked forward until he had the man secure between his body and the wall. He released the arm that was around the young man’s waist and reached into his pocket. Adam pulled out a syringe.  He always kept a tranquilizer on hand, just in case the target got bold and tried to fight back.  Adam was a large man, tall with broad shoulders, but that didn’t mean he could take on everyone.  Sometimes he had to put down the big ones before he put them down permanently.  

 

Popping the top off with his thumb and exposing the needle, Adam brought his lips back to the young man’s ear.  “I’m not going to hurt you,”  Adam said, right before he pushed the needle into the man’s neck and released its contents into his skin.  

 

Within seconds, the man was unconscious.  Adam lowered him to the floor and stepped back. “Fuck!”  Adam yelled into the quiet house.  Who the fuck was this guy, and why was he calling Vincent, dad?  He should just kill him, leave no witnesses, but as Adam looked down at the unconscious man breathing steadily in and out, Adam didn’t see a witness.  He saw an angel. Adam was in some serious shit.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Adam paced the floor.  He’d taken the unconscious blond back to his family’s hideaway, and tried to figure out what to do.  He’d been caught.  No way out if the man decided to talk. Life in prison would be his future, if someone didn’t take him out first.  He should have shot the guy as soon as he entered the room, but those eyes...  Adam had hesitated, and now he was fucked.

 

He stopped pacing long enough to look at the sleeping man.  Adam didn’t know why, but he’d put the man in bed, actually putting effort into making sure he woke up feeling comfortable.  His father would kill him.  Not literally.  Adam’s father adored him in a way most of the top figures in their world didn’t.  Not one other head would hesitate to shoot his son for a mistake this monumental.  Adam at least had that knowledge to calm his nerves.

 

The others?  The other’s he had to watch out for.  It was a well known fact that Adam would take over for his father one day.  He’d inherit an empire, and all the men who went with it.  These men feared and respected Adam, but it was well known that Adam didn’t want this life. He was a remorseful killer in a top crime family, but a killer, none the less.  He’d been the go to when someone needed to be “taken care of” and had disposed of many individuals he’d considered friends.  

 

He thought of Abigail and sighed.  He’d confided in her once about his desire to leave the family business.  He’d grown tired of the bloodshed and just wanted to live a peaceful existence.  He’d even offered to take her with him.  He’d promised her that someday he’d take her away from everything.  He’d kept his promise, and it was starting to eat at his gut.

 

Adam had learned from an early age that death was just a part of life.  His father had told him that mourning was for the weak and for the women.  The only acceptable people to mourn were your wife, your parents, and your children, or in Adam’s case, his lover.  If he ever found one worth keeping around.

 

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Adam looked at the unconscious blond.  He looked peaceful with his eyes closed and breathing even.  Adam couldn’t put his finger on it, but when he’d looked into those brown eyes, a life had flashed in front of him.  It was a life he’d only dreamed about, the life he’d promised Abigail many years ago.  He’d seen blue skies, a vast body of water in front of him, and a man standing beside him in shadow.  He was happy, and he sensed that the faceless man beside him was happy, too.  

 

With his fingers, Adam reached down and brushed a stray lock of hair from the man’s face.  His knuckles grazed the man’s smoothly shaven face as he pulled his hand away.  Adam closed his eyes and breathed deeply.  A small hint of something light and woodsy tickled his nose as he filled his lungs.  Adam opened his eyes and exhaled as he looked down at perfect skin, perfect cheekbones, and perfectly fluttering eyelids.  The man’s lashes were quite possibly the longest he’d ever seen, and fanned out across the delicate hollow between the man’s eye and cheekbone.

 

The man.  He looked more like a boy, youthful.  If Adam had to guess he’d put him at a decade younger than himself.  There wasn’t a crease or line on his face.  His skin was smooth and slightly pink as if he’d been in the sun a little too long.  Small, pale, and soft as silk, a deadly combination for Adam.  It made Adam think with his dick and not his head.  Maybe it was his dick that kept the boy alive.  It sure as hell hadn’t been his head.  Maybe it had been the boy’s frightened penetrating eyes.  In the brief second that their eyes had locked, Adam had felt as if the boy were looking into his soul, burning a hole through everything he’d thought he knew.  Those eyes had been what caused him to hesitate.  Those eyes were the very reason the boy was laying in Adam’s bed and not a body bag.

 

The man stirred, causing Adam to jump from where he’d sat on the bed.  Backing up until his back hit the far wall, he held his breath as the blond’s eyes slowly opened.  It took several moments for the boy’s eyes to adjust.  He blinked rapidly, clearing the haze that Adam was sure blanketed his mind.  When his eyes finally adjusted to the dim light of the room, the boy sat up and began to take in his surroundings.  His eyes moved across the room, his forehead creased with confusion.  Adam could see the wheels turning, trying to put together where he was and how he’d gotten there.

 

The man’s eyes landed on Adam, and he froze.  The same look of curiosity formed in his soft brown irises right before realization dawned.  As if trying to scramble back, the man began to thrash.  He couldn’t seem to get his legs to work correctly, and instead of jumping out of the bed to run, he’d tangled himself up in the sheets.

 

For a split second, Adam smirked.  In a different time and a different set of circumstances, the whole episode would be funny.  Adam should have been freaking out just as much as the boy was, but instead, he couldn’t stop thinking about how adorable it was watching the young man burrito himself in Adam’s sheets.

 

The second passed too quickly, and Adam was snapped back into reality.  He approached the bed with caution, not wanting to spook the kid any more than he’d already been.  Tentatively, he walked forward, lowered himself on the edge of the bed, and pulled the sheet away from the boy’s face.

 

“No!  Stay back!  Please, just stay away!”  The young man pleaded, trying to push himself away from Adam as his eyes widened with fear.  He looked from side to side, as if looking for an escape route, before his eyes landed back on Adam.

 

Adam reached out and cupped the man’s jaw, brushing his thumb up and down soft skin.  “It’s okay.  You’re okay.  I’m not going to hurt you.”

 

The boy seemed to calm with Adam’s gentle touch.  His eyes settled on Adam’s face, and the wildness behind them began to dissipate.  “You...You killed my father.”

 

“Yes,”  Adam confessed, a look of sympathy etched on his face.  He really did feel badly about killing his Uncle and surrogate mother.  He felt even worse knowing he’d been forced to kill Abigail as well.

 

“My stepmother, my sister.  My sister.  Not Abigail.  Not Abigail!”  The boy began to sob.  His shoulders violently shook as his breaths came out in shaking huffs.

 

Adam’s heart cracked slightly at the the despair pulsing with each sob that broke free from the boy’s chest.  The strangest feeling of wanting to comfort the boy overtook him.  Adam had never been a touchy-feely man.  He didn’t cuddle, he didn’t kiss outside the bedroom, and he sure as hell never tried to comfort anyone.  He wasn’t an asshole.  He had a heart. He just kept that heart under lock and key.  Emotions got people in his line of work killed. However, as he watched the tears flow down the man’s cheeks, he found himself still caressing the blonde's face with his thumb.

 

The boy leaned into Adam’s touch for a split second before beginning to thrash again.  He’d managed to free his legs, and quickly maneuvered around Adam and ran for the door.  Frantically, the boy clawed at the door knob, trying to make his escape, but the door was locked.  He ran across the floor to the window.  He tried to make his hands work, but they shook violently.

 

“There’s no use,”  Adam said, almost sympathetically.  “The window is locked too.”

 

The young man crumpled to the floor and buried his face in his hands.  “Please.  Please, just let me go.”

 

Adam sighed.  “I can’t do that.”

 

The young man looked up, desperation in his eyes.  “Yes.  You can.  I won’t tell anyone.  I promise.  Please just let me go.”

 

Tentatively, Adam crossed the room.  Slowly, taking deliberate steps so as to not spook the boy, he came to a stop at the boy’s feet.  Adam crouched down so that he was on the same level as the fearful young man. He raised his red, puffy, tear-filled eyes to Adam.

 

“What’s your name?”  Adam asked gently.

 

The boy hesitated.  Adam had seen the wheels turning, the boy deciding whether it was smart to tell the assassin of his family his identity before he whispered “Tommy.”

 

“Ok, Tommy.  I’m not going to hurt you.”

 

“You killed my family.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Why?”  Tommy asked as he locked eyes with Adam.  He may have been scared out of his mind, but he tried to sound strong and confident as he spoke to his kidnapper. “Why?”

 

“Because…”  Adam trailed off, breaking eye contact with Tommy.  How could he explain what he’d done without sounding cold and evil.  Sure, he felt bad about killing an entire family.  He’d always felt bad, but it was his job.  It didn’t eat him up at night.  Guilt waned, and the more he killed, the less he felt, with the exception of people who’d been close to him. “Your father stole money from my family.”

 

Adam’s eyes remained on the floor as he waited for Tommy to respond.  It wasn’t the greatest explanation in the world, but it was the truth.  It was what he’d done for over a decade: get in, get out, collect payment for infractions with his family in blood.

 

“Because he stole from your family?”  Tommy asked with a tragic humor in his tone, like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.  Adam risked glancing up at Tommy and saw a look of disgust on his face.  “You’re a fucking monster.  What kind of man kills an entire family over theft?”

 

A twinge of anger raced through Adam’s body as he listened to Tommy’s words.  He was a killer, yes, but he wasn’t evil.  He was a man, just like any other man, no better and no worse.  Adam’s stare bore into Tommy, causing the other man to cower back slightly.  “The same kind of man your father was.”

 

Adam laughed loudly, a laugh that came from deep inside his belly.  “Do you even know who your father was?”  There was no way Tommy could be the child of Vincent and not know about his father’s life.  “Speaking of which, who the hell are you?  I’ve known Vincent my entire life and never once did he mention having a son.”

 

Tommy looked taken aback by Adam’s admission that Vincent had never mentioned him. “He...He never mentioned me?”  Tommy looked genuinely hurt.

 

“Nope.”

 

Looking down at the floor, Tommy looked puzzled.  The emotions that ran across his face were easy to read.  First, Adam saw shock.  Tommy was truly shocked to find out that his father had never mentioned him.  Second came sadness.  The kid looked like someone kicked his puppy, tears again welling up in his eyes, but never shed.  Next, Adam saw realization, the comprehension that Tommy’s father was not who he’d thought him to be.  And lastly, anger.  It was always the anger that brought everything home.  Adam could only imagine what it felt like to be lied to by his father.  Sure he’d probably told Adam lies, but not about something so monumental.  Adam’s father never tried to hide who he was and what that meant.  Adam was grateful for that.

 

The anger in Tommy’s eyes, simmered down to a low boil, and he asked Adam the million dollar question, “Who was my father?”

 

How did Adam answer the question?  Should he sugar coat it, tell Tommy his father was a “bad man” and dodge any questions, or should he be honest?  The truth really did hurt sometimes, and Tommy appeared to be more of a delicate flower than a hard ass.  The truth may break the poor kid in ways that one doesn’t recover from.  Adam looked at Tommy with sympathy.  It wasn’t going to be easy for Tommy to process, at least not at first, but Adam felt the truth was always better than a lie.  Telling the truth, but keeping it short, Adam simply said, “A made man.”

 

“A made-”  Tommy cut himself off, not being able to say the words.  His eyes were wide with shock and disbelief.  “You’re lying.”

 

“Tommy, I may be a lot of things, but liar isn’t one of them.”

 

It only took a second before Tommy’s eyes rolled back into his head and he slumped to the floor.

 

“Shit,”  Adam mumbled, standing up before scooping Tommy up into his arms.  He carried Tommy back to the bed, and placed him gently down with his head on the pillow.  Adam took a moment or two to unwind all the blankets, and placed them back over Tommy’s body.

 

Adam looked down at Tommy’s peaceful face.  All emotion had been hidden away until he woke, and reality came crashing back down.  An urge to touch Tommy, caress his angular jaw, ghost a finger over his long lashes, took hold, and Adam had to step back for prevent himself from mapping every surface of Tommy’s face.   He sat in a lounge chair that was positioned to the right of the bed and watched Tommy.  He’d be waking up soon, and the conversation that would have to take place was not one that Adam wanted to have.  He’d have to tell Tommy all the gory details of the life he’d been born into, because he and Adam were going to be spending a lot of time together.  If he hadn’t known that Tommy existed, then the family hadn’t known either.  He’d have to keep Tommy hidden away.  In not pulling the trigger, Adam sealed Tommy’s fate, and the only protection Tommy had was him.

  
  
  
  



	3. Chapter 3

 

 

 

  
  


“I won’t be home for a few days.”

 

Tommy heard a voice coming from across the room.  He peeled his heavy lids open, blinking back the haze.  He was in bed, and the room was dark. So dark, the single slice of light coming from the parted drapes was hurting his eyes.  Illuminated in the ray of light was a man talking on a cell phone.  He was looking out the window.  By the look on his face, Tommy gathered he wasn’t looking at anything in particular, more like looking past whatever was outside. The man was tall and slender, wearing a rumpled dress shirt and suit pants.  His shirt was unbuttoned but still tucked into his waistband.  He looked tired.

 

“I have something to take care of,”  the man said. His voice had an edge of irritation.  He turned his head, finding Tommy’s eyes.  “Just tell my father.  I gotta go.”  

 

Tommy watched as the man hung up his phone and began to approach.  Tommy felt the intensity radiating off the man’s shoulders as he walked across the room.  Tommy knew there was something he should be remembering.  Something about the man was setting off alarms in his head, but the haze in his mind hadn’t lifted enough to remember how he’d ended up in bed with a man in his room.  

 

Looking down at himself, Tommy let out a sigh of relief.  He was dressed.  Nothing sexual had happened.  He’d had a blackened-out one night stand once, and promised himself he’d never do it again.  He closed his eyes and focused.  He focused on the man’s voice.  It was smooth, deep with a lightness that was soothing.  Melodic like a lullaby. He imagined the man could make a living recording audiobooks.  

 

Not setting off any memories, Tommy opened his eyes.  The man was now standing at the side of the bed, looking down at Tommy with concern furrowing his brow.  In shadow, Tommy could only make out the outlines of his face, the room still too dark to see.  He sat up and reached for the light.  Tommy pulled the chain, and the room was instantly bright.  He closed his eyes briefly, allowing his pupils time to adjust.  When he opened them again, Tommy looked back at the man and was greeted with two intense blue eyes.

 

Like a movie on fast forward, Tommy’s mind zipped through the last day of his life.  He remembered calling Abigail to tell her he was coming home to surprise their parents, boarding the plane, exiting the airport and stopping by the local mall to pick up something for his mother and Abigail.  He remembered pulling into the driveway of his father’s house and being impressed by it’s size, and sad that he’d never visited before.  He remembered walking through the door shortly after midnight and seeing the bodies of his family on the floor, each one dead from a gunshot.  He also remembered a man, tall and slender, with intense blue eyes.

 

Tommy’s breath caught in his throat as he remembered everything.  Instinctively, he jerked away from the man who’d come to rest at the edge of the bed.  He was looking at Tommy with concern and understanding.  Memories flooded Tommy as he remembered the conversation he’d had with this man.  His father was made.  Tommy knew what that meant.  He’d seen enough movies.  How could his father be involved with organized crime and he not know it?  It explained why Tommy had spent his entire childhood in boarding schools.  During the summers, he would live with his mother, and his father would come to visit him.  He’d never visited his father at his house.  He’d asked, but his father always had a reason why it was better to stay with Tommy’s mother.  It made sense now.  His father didn’t want him to know about this side of his life.  He’d lied to him, but why?  He’d allowed Abigail to be a part of his other life. Why didn’t he let Tommy?  Anger sat fizzling just below the surface of Tommy’s skin at the realization that he knew nothing about his father.

 

“Are you okay?” the man asked from the edge of the bed.

 

Looking tentatively at the man, Tommy replied,  “I’m okay, considering.”

 

The man’s brow furrowed, and an unreadable emotion crossed his face.  “Can I get you anything?”

 

What an odd question coming from a kidnapper.  However, Tommy knew from the second he’d locked gazes with this man at the foot of his dead father that something was off.  Though a killer, Tommy didn’t feel threatened.  He didn’t feel like he was in danger.  He almost felt protected.  It was an absurd feeling to have, but it didn’t change the fact.  When the man said he wasn’t going to hurt Tommy, he believed it.  Even though he knew the answer, Tommy asked anyway.  “Are you going to kill me?”

 

The look on the man’s face confirmed what Tommy already knew.  He was safe with this man.

 

“I have no desire to hurt you, Tommy.”

 

“What’s your name?”  Tommy asked.  If he had to sit here and have a conversation with this man, he wanted to at least know how to address him.

 

“Adam.”

 

“Okay, Adam,”  Tommy said calmly.  He had a thousand and one questions, but he’d let Adam begin the talking.

 

“You must have a lot of questions.”

 

“You could say that.”  Tommy squirmed around, trying to free himself enough from the blankets to sit taller and more comfortably.  Adam lifted himself off of the bed so Tommy could adjust the blankets.  Once situated, he looked back to Adam and asked,  “Why am I here?”

 

“Because you have to be,”  Adam said.  The tone of his voice told Tommy that Adam himself wasn’t exactly sure why Tommy was there.  He exhaled, giving Tommy a half smile.  “This is going to be a long and complicated conversation.  Why don’t we do it over breakfast?  You’ve got to be starving.”

 

Tommy contemplated Adam’s offer.  He was hungry.  He hadn’t eaten since he’d been on the plane.  It would be nice to get out of the stuffy room.  “Okay.”

 

His answer was rewarded by a full-on smile.  Adam was a very attractive man, with his dark, honey hued hair, sparkling eyes, and full lips.  The smile, however, added a whole new layer of beauty.  In a different time and different place, Tommy would have been shamelessly hitting on lovely assassin.

 

“I found some clothes that might fit you.  Go take a shower and meet me downstairs.  The kitchen is to the left of the stairs.”  Adam smiled one last time before exiting the room.

 

Tommy looked around the room.  He was definitely in a bedroom of a house or apartment, but whose?  Surely they weren’t still in his father’s house.  The cops would be swarming the place by now.  But how long had it been?  It had been midnight when he’d arrived, and it was still pitch black outside?  Had it only been a few hours?  He shook his head.  All his questions would be answered soon enough. _I am many things, but a liar is not one of them._  Maybe stupidly, but Tommy believed Adam’s words.  He grabbed the clothes off the nightstand and headed for a much needed shower.

  
  


~  

 

After spending what had felt like an hour in the hot shower, Tommy entered the kitchen and found Adam wearing an apron and standing over the stove.  He’d been singing softly to himself, just low enough that Tommy couldn’t hear the words.  Tommy cleared his throat to announce his presence.  Adam looked up from what he’d been doing and smiled at Tommy.  That megawatt smile.  For an assassin, Adam was quite expressive.

 

“Hey, Tommy.  I was just finishing up.  I didn’t know what you liked, so I made a bit of everything,”  Adam said, walking around the island that housed the stove and gesturing for Tommy to have a seat at the table.

 

Tommy nodded and sat down.  The table looked antique.  The wood looked weathered, like it had been used through many generations.  Each chair had an intricate pattern carved into its back.  Antique or not, it looked elegant and expensive, as did the rest of the kitchen.  A crystal chandelier hung from the ceiling above the table, the light sparkling through the tiny crystals.  The appliances were all stainless steel and wrapped in jet black cabinets and dark decor.  It was sleek and modern with the exception of the old looking table.

 

“It’s been in my family for six generations,”  Adam said as if reading Tommy’s mind.  “It sticks out like a sore thumb, but I love it.”

 

Adam began setting plates down.  One was filled with fluffy scrambled eggs, another full of bacon that was still sizzling.  There were plates of waffles and pancakes, every kind of fruit imaginable, hashbrowns, toast, and even a pot full of warm and gooey oatmeal.  Tommy looked at all the food and then back to Adam.  He’d cooked enough food for an army.  Tommy would have been happy with dry toast.  He’d been kidnapped.  He very much doubted that kidnappers regularly made their prisoners five course meals.

 

“Uh, thanks.”

 

Adam looked at Tommy sheepishly.  “I know.  I got a little carried away.  This is a very strange situation.”

 

“What is the situation?”  Tommy asked, getting the ball rolling.

 

Adam pushed an empty plate in front of Tommy.  “Eat first.  You’ve been out for almost a solid twenty-four hours.”

 

“Twenty-four hours?”  Tommy asked, shocked.  He’d known he’d passed out, but damn.

 

“The tranquilizer I gave you knocked you out for about four hours.  You were awake for about twenty minutes before you passed out on your own.  You were out until you woke up two hours ago.”

 

“Fuck.”

 

“Stress will do that to you,”  Adam said.  “Now eat.”

 

~

 

Feeling guilty that his kidnapper had made him a lavish breakfast.  He didn’t understand what had caused the guilt, but in turn it caused Tommy to have a nibble of everything on the table.  He topped it off with a steaming hot cup of coffee.  It had been strange, eating breakfast with one’s abductor, especially when said abductor had been staring with a look of bewilderment on his face the entire time.  It made Tommy uncomfortable, but at the same time curious.  Adam had seemed almost fascinated by him, as if he were looking at something under a microscope for the first time.  It’d made Tommy ill at ease, but at the same time, had made his skin tingle just below the surface with in an unknown way.

 

Adam had finished clearing off the table and had refilled both cups of coffee.  He tapped a long finger against the side of his mug while he waited for Tommy to speak.

 

“So...why didn’t you kill me?”  Tommy asked, getting straight to the point.

 

Adam mustn’t have been ready to answer that particular question, because instead of answering, he replied,  “Let’s leave that for later.  Next question?”

 

Tommy thought for a moment before asking, “How did you know my father?”

 

Sighing heavily, Adam took a sip of his coffee.  Tommy watched the movements of Adam’s throat as he swallowed the hot liquid.  Tommy felt his stomach tighten. Given the circumstances, the last thing Tommy thought he’d be thinking about was how erotic the act of swallowing could be. Shaking the unwanted thought from his head, Tommy focused on Adam as he explained his relationship with Tommy’s father.

 

“I’ve known him since I was born.  He’d been my father’s best friend and right hand man.  He’d been like an uncle to me from most of my life.”  Adam looked down at his mug and smiled sadly.  “Your step mother had been a mother to me after my own died.”

 

“I’m sorry.”  It was the first and only thing Tommy could think to say.

 

“Don’t be.  I was eight when she died.  I have good memories of her.”  Adam took another sip of coffee, successfully erasing whatever sadness had overtaken his expression.  “Anyway, you’re father was, like I said, a made man.  He was the go-to when something or someone wronged my family.  My father would give him a name, and he’d take care of the problem.  Simple.  In return, my father gave Vincent his love and a significant portion of the family earnings.  He’d made a name for himself, and quite the fortune.”

 

“I never knew he had money,”  Tommy said softly.  The lies were beginning to pile up in thick layers.  He knew they’d only touched the surface, but he tasted the betrayal already.

 

Adam looked at Tommy with sympathy.  “What did you know, Tommy?”

 

“Apparently nothing,”  Tommy said, unable to mask the anger in his voice.  “I’d been told Dad was a working class man who’d spent every dime he made on my boarding school education.  Dad always came to visit me.  He never let me visit him.”

 

“How old are you, Tommy?”  

 

“Twenty-two.”

 

Adam looked up quizzically, his eyes narrowed in thought.  Tommy wondered what he was thinking about.  It was obvious Adam knew nothing about Tommy’s father having another child, another family outside of the one that died with him.  It was also obvious to Tommy that there was a whole hell of a lot that Tommy didn’t know about his father.

 

Adam suddenly got up from the table.  “We’ll finish this conversation later.  There’s something I need to do.”  Adam left the room abruptly, leaving Tommy alone at the table, in a strange house, with even more unanswered questions.

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

Sitting in the family library, Adam ran his hands through his hair, his frustration leaving a mussed up mess down the center of his normally perfect hair.  After he’d left Tommy alone and confused in the kitchen of his family’s hideaway house, he’d gone to do some research.  When Tommy had answered Adam, stating that he was twenty-two, a light bulb had gone off in Adam’s head.  He’d known about Tommy; he’d just forgotten.

 

When Adam had been a child, his father had sent Vincent across the country on business.  He’d been gone for almost a year before he’d shown up in Adam’s family home again.  By that point, Adam’s mother had been in the final stages of life, and Adam had spent every second with her.  Like it happened yesterday, the memory had been crystal clear.  Adam had been lying in bed with his mother while she slept.  He’d heard voices coming from the hallway. He’d crept out of the bed at the sound of his father’s deep voice.  The door had been partially open, so he’d situated himself where he’d be able to see through the crack but still be undetected.  His father had been arguing with Vincent.  He’d gotten back from business and brought a bombshell with him.  Adam didn’t remember every detail of the altercation, but he remembered enough.  Vincent had confessed to fathering a child while he was away.  Adam’s father had told Vincent to keep the baby as far away as possible if he wanted to keep his child safe.

 

It all made sense.  During Adam’s childhood, there had been a turf war among the families.  Many had died before the families sorted everything out.  There had been a four month period when Adam hadn’t even been allowed to play outside on their own lawn.  Shortly after the violence had ceased, Vincent had met Suzanne, Aunt Sue as Adam had called her, and began the family that Adam had known.

 

It didn’t make sense though.  Why had Vincent kept Tommy a secret after all the smoke had cleared?  He’d obviously kept in contact with him.  The only thing that made sense was that Vincent hadn’t wanted Tommy to be a part of the life.  Adam understood.  If he’d had a family of his own, he’d want to protect them from the life as well.  That’s why Adam had decided long ago that he never wanted children.

 

He’d also accepted that he’d never marry, probably never truly be in love.  Having a taste for men was frowned upon severely in the world he was born into.  He’d known men over the course of his adult life that had been executed for nothing more than that reason.  Some by their own families.  Some were sent away, excommunicated.  Adam was the exception.  His father’s fierce love gave Adam a certain amount of protection.  Still, that left very little opportunity to find a companion.  Sure, Adam had sex, but never relationships.  He refused to bring an innocent, oblivious man into inner circles of earthly hell.

 

Adam thought of Tommy, with his delicate features and rumpled blond hair as he’d slept in Adam’s bed.  Shit.  By not killing Tommy, Adam had made Tommy a target for more reasons than one.  Not only would Tommy be targeted because he knew Adam murdered his family, but if anyone from the other families were to find out that Adam was already harboring some sort of feelings for the young man, they wouldn’t hesitate to use it as a means to start a war to takeover Adam’s family’s position and wealth.

 

What were the feelings he’d been having for Tommy anyway?  From the second their eyes had met, Adam had begun to feel things he’d never felt before, and thought about things he’d never thought about before.  He’d wanted to cuddle Tommy, wrap him up in his arms and let him weep for his family on Adam’s shoulder.  He’d wanted to find something that would take Tommy’s pain away.  Adam thought about laying Tommy out on his bed and making gentle love to him, worshiping and savoring every inch of porcelain skin, as opposed to the dirty, meaningless sex he was used to having. Is that how his father had felt when he’d met Adam’s mother?

 

Adam didn’t know, and didn’t have time to think about it.  There were more pressing issues at hand.  Adam stood up and paced back and forth.  He wanted to ask his father about Vincent’s love child, who was currently residing in the hideaway house, warming Adam’s bed and confusing his thoughts.  Adam also knew that regardless of how oblivious Tommy had been about the life his father led, Adam’s father would still require that any threat to the family be eliminated.  He couldn’t tell his father no matter how much he wanted to.

 

Just then, the door to the library opened and Adam’s father walked in.  An inch shorter than Adam and about fifty pounds heavier, Adam’s father looked the part of a crime boss.  Hard, angular features were a trademark of Adam’s family, and Adam’s father’s were the fiercest.  They screamed power and demanded obedience without him even saying a word.  Dressed in a light gray suit and with a cigar hanging from his mouth, he greeted Adam cheerfully.

 

“Good morning, son.  Always a pleasure to see you.”

 

Adam crossed the room to his father, kissing him on both cheeks in greeting.  “Good morning, Dad.”  

 

“Did you come with a report on my money?”

 

Right down to business.  Adam’s father was not one to beat around the bush.  “Vincent admitted that he’d stolen it, but not where he put it.”

 

Flicking the ash off his cigar into the crystal tray on the end table, Adam’s father grunted.  “That fucker!  He was like my brother!  I should never have trusted him!”

 

Adam tried to be reassuring, even though he knew the chances were that they would never find the money.  Two million wasn’t a lot in Adam’s world.  Hell, Adam’s father brought in two million a week in just the gambling rings that were controlled by Adam’s family.  But stealing is stealing, and Vincent had to pay, one way or another.  “We’ll never know why he took it.  It’s better not to dwell on it.”

 

Adam’s father nodded his head in agreement.  “Did you have any problems during the hit?  No witnesses?  Loose ends?”

 

Only one gorgeous blond one. Adam thought to himself.  His father would be so disappointed in him.  He was a killer.  He wasn’t supposed to have a heart or remorse.  If he was given a name, he was to do his job, no matter who it was.  It could have been his father.  It didn’t matter, his job was to collect by way of body bag, and he’d never had a problem doing it until now.  He’d never liked being a killer.  He even felt guilt on occasion, but it was his job; he’d learned how to deal with it a long time ago.  Until now.  There was nothing and no one on Earth that could force him to take Tommy’s life.  That one split second that Adam had locked eyes with Tommy, Adam became a protector.  Tommy’s protector.

 

“Smooth as always.”

 

“Did you find anything useful in locating my money?”  Adam’s father asked.  He’d sat down in the chair that Adam had vacated, and looked up at his son with questioning hopeful eyes.  The only thing his father loved as much as Adam was his money.

 

Adam was supposed to sweep the house after he’d disposed of the bodies, but he’d been sidetracked for obvious reasons.  Reasons his father couldn’t know.  It was a good thing Adam could think on his feet.  “By the time I got back to the house, the sun was coming up.  Couldn’t risk it.  I’m going back once I leave here to snoop a bit before word gets out that Vincent is dead.”

 

“Keep me posted, son.  I don’t want anyone else finding that money before I do.”  Adam’s father got up, patted Adam lovingly on the shoulder and left the way he’d come.

 

~ ~ ~

 

Adam barged through the front door, crossing the house to the kitchen where he’d left Tommy.  Not locating the young man, he began searching the house.  Adam had left his father’s house and driven straight to Vincent’s house.  He’d cleaned up the remaining blood on the floor, and made the house look as if nothing had happened before he got back in his car and went home.  He had every intention of searching every last square inch of Vincent’s house, but something in his gut was telling him that Tommy needed to be there with him.  He didn’t know what the feeling meant, but he damn well was going to listen to it.

 

Not finding Tommy anywhere downstairs, Adam took the stairs to the second floor.  He peered into his bedroom, but Tommy was nowhere to be found.  He checked the bathroom, the remaining two bedrooms, but nothing.  Panic set in.  He’d left Tommy alone, but not locked down.  He could be at the police station at that very moment, confessing to everything he’d seen.  And he knew Adam’s name.  Fuck.

 

Adam flew down the stairs as fast as he could, and without looking swung open the front door and barrelled out.  He didn’t even make it two steps before he collided with something hard, causing him to fall on his ass.  He looked up from his spot on the ground and met a pair of soft brown eyes that were already becoming familiar.

 

“Oh Jesus!  I’m sorry, Adam!  I didn’t know you were here,”  Tommy apologized, bending over and offering his hand to help Adam up from the ground. He hesitated for a moment.  Why did he just apologize to his kidnapper?  Why did he care at all about the man that had murdered his family?

 

Adam accepted the hand.  Once on his feet, he brushed his hands down his jeans, loosening the tiny pebbles that had stuck to his skin.  “Where were you?”  Adam asked a bit harsher than he’d intended.

 

“I didn’t know when you’d be back.  I needed some fresh air,”  Tommy said, pointing towards the back of the house.  “That trail behind the house is perfect for a morning hike.”

 

Instantly relaxing with the knowledge that Tommy hadn’t left the property, Adam exhaled a deep breath.  The idea of Tommy going to the cops terrified him, but for some reason Adam couldn’t pinpoint, the idea of Tommy leaving and never seeing him again brought a new, different kind of fear.  Adam needed to get his head back straight[ he had things to do.

 

“Yes, it is.  Feel free to use it whenever you want.  Just don’t leave the property without me?”

 

Tommy looked at Adam questioningly.  “Why?”

 

“Just don’t.”

 

“Ok,”  Tommy answered simply.

 

OK?  Did Tommy, Adam’s hostage, just say ok?  Did he just agree to not leave the property without being escorted by his family’s murderer?  

 

At a loss for how to answer Tommy’s short, innocent response, Adam changed direction.  “I need you to get cleaned up and come with me.”

 

“Where?”  Tommy asked, walking through the door to the house and moving towards the stairs.  He climbed the flight of stairs and entered Adam’s bedroom, shucking his sweaty shirt off his body and depositing it on the floor.

 

Adam followed Tommy up the stairs and stopped as he entered his room.  He immediately turned on his heels and faced away from the half naked man.  “Sorry.”

 

“It’s your house.  I’m your hostage.  I can’t very well tell you where you can and can’t go.”

 

Adam felt heat creep down to his groin as well as up to his cheeks.  Tommy was something different.  He should be scared shitless of Adam, but instead he’s calm, as if nothing about the situation is abnormal.  “That doesn’t mean you don’t deserve some privacy.”

 

“I should be thankful you don’t have me tied up.”

 

Adam turned, almost feeling offended that Tommy thought him so cruel, even though he knew that is exactly what Tommy should be thinking.  “Why would I do that?”

 

“I don’t know.  Maybe because I might escape.”

 

“Are you going to try to escape?”

 

“No.”

 

“Good.”

 

“Good?”  Tommy asked as he pulled a clean shirt over his head.  He pulled it down to cover himself, then proceeded to change his shorts.  Adam had to turn around again.

 

“I...I trust you,”  Adam said.  Yes, Tommy was definitely something different.

 

Adam counted to sixty before he turned back around.  Tommy was sitting on the edge of the bed fully dressed and lacing up a shoe.  Thankful that Tommy’s nearly perfect skin was again covered, Adam approached the bed and sat down at the corner.  “We need to go to your father’s house.”

 

Tommy stopped what he was doing and looked at Adam.  “Why?”

 

How much to tell.  Something made Adam want to be as truthful as possible with Tommy, but he knew he could only tell so much.  He also knew that last place Tommy would want to be was in the house where his family was slaughtered, especially when it had happened less that forty-eight hours ago.  But he had to go.  He could cover twice as much ground with help.  It wouldn’t be too much longer before someone noticed Vincent or his family missing and call the authorities.  Adam had to get anything and everything out of that house that would help him find the money, as well as erase any possible traces of Tommy before that happened.

 

He settled for the blunt truth.  “I told you your father stole money from my family.  My family and its associates don’t know that you exist.  I need to go to that house and find any clues I can about the whereabouts of the money as well as get rid of anything that leads to you, before anyone else finds it.”

 

Tommy regarded Adam with curiosity.  It made Adam uncomfortable and fidgety.  “Why?”

 

Adam rolled his eyes.  “You know, you ask why a lot.”

 

Tommy reworded his question.  “ _Why_ would you do that?  Get rid of my existence?”

 

“Because if they realize Vincent had another child, they’ll hunt you down and kill you.”  Again Adam chose blunt honesty.

 

“But I don’t know anything.”

 

“These kind of men don’t care whether or not you know anything.  They’ll torture you until they’re satisfied you’re telling the truth, then put a bullet in your head.”  
  


“You’re that kind of man.”  Tommy peered into Adam’s eyes, the innocence of a life led in the normal world shining as bright as beacons in Tommy’s eyes.  There was also a challenge hiding in the innocence, as if Tommy were asking Adam to prove him wrong.

 

Adam took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.  Tommy was right.  Adam was that kind of man.  He’d always been that kind of man, and he probably would always be that kind of man.  But not with Tommy.  Never with Tommy.

 

“You’re right.  I am,”  Adam admitted.  How could he lie about something that was the cold, hard truth.  “But I already told you, I don’t want to hurt you.”

 

“Then I’ll help you,”  Tommy said lacing up his shoe and standing from the bed.  He walked past

Adam, stopping at the door and turned.  “Let’s go.”


	5. Chapter 5

On the ride to his father’s house, Tommy stared out at the passing landscape, lost in thought.  He’d really lived his entire life not knowing who his father  was.  He wasn’t just the kind hearted, loving man who’d bounced Tommy on his knee as a child, or the man who’d bought him his favorite cake every year on his birthday.  His father never missed a parent/teacher conference, a school production, graduation, or any other event in Tommy’s life.  He’d also lived another life, one Tommy didn’t know existed.  His father lived a life of crime and murder.  A made man.  A part of Tommy was glad he’d never known that side of his father, but if he had known, he wouldn’t be in a car with his kidnapper.  He wouldn’t be going to erase evidence of his family’s killer.  He wouldn’t be going to erase himself.

 

Tommy was in danger.  Maybe that’s why he was so willing to agree to not leave the grounds unsupervised.  Maybe that was why he was on his way to conceal a crime.  He contemplated his situation as Adam sat quietly beside him.  Why did he agree so easily?  Did it really have to do with his safety, or was it something more?  

 

He turned his head toward Adam at the same time Adam turned toward Tommy.  The intensity set Adam’s blue eyes ablaze, snaring Tommy with unknown questions.  Why was he so drawn to this dangerous man, this killer?  Everything in his body was screaming to run, run at the first opportunity.  But those eyes.  They told a story.  Tommy didn’t know exactly what that story was, but he was thirsty for the knowledge of what was lying behind those ice blue eyes. Some twisted part of his mind begged to get inside Adam’s head, see those little glimpses of something other than the killer in full view.

 

He turned away.

 

“We’re almost there,”  Adam said.  There was uncertainty in his voice, like he was treading with the slightest bit of fear.  Fear of what, Tommy had no idea.  

 

Tommy just nodded his head.  He was really going to do this.  Tamper with evidence without being forced.  All to save Adam’s ass.  It made no sense, but nothing about the situation did.

 

Adam pulled the car into a dark alley that ran behind a line of houses.  All the yards had privacy fences.  Only one had a gate at the back.  Adam killed the engine and got out of the car.  He motioned for Tommy to follow suit.  Opening the door, Tommy got out and followed Adam through the gate.  The air was quiet.  All the lights in his father’s house were off and the doors locked.  Adam took out a key and opened the glass door that led into the kitchen.  Funny that Adam had a key.  He’d told Tommy that Sue was like a second mother to him. Maybe he’d been treated like a son.

 

The thought struck a cord.  Tommy was Vincent’s son.  He’d loved him fiercely, but he’d had another life that Tommy had never been allowed to be a part of.  Would he have known Adam?  Would they have been like brothers?  Tommy shook the thought from his head.  He didn’t ever want to think of Adam as a brother, and the confusing reason why left his gut in knots.  Brothers didn’t stare at one another through the reflection in a car window, mapping the lines of a jaw, a nose, and full lips, while wondering what that soft, fluffy head of hair would feel like between his fingers.

 

Making their way through the dark kitchen into the dining area, Adam stopped and turned to face Tommy.  “We need to make this quick, but thorough.  There’s no guarantee we’ll be alone for long.”  Adam handed Tommy a flashlight.  He flipped it on, as did Adam, and they began to search.

 

Adam did most of the searching around where he’d done his business with Vincent, Sue, and Abigail.  Tommy hesitated when he stepped in, and Adam immediately relieved him of the job.  It was weird, as with everything else.  Adam seemed to care about his wellbeing and pushed Tommy along through all the areas that may have caused Tommy the most stress.  Instead, Tommy began looking through all the cabinets, drawers, and all the places that evidence could have been stashed.

 

Tommy gutted the duel hutches that lined the wall of the dining room.  He placed the fine china neatly on the floor as to not break it.  He emptied out the drawers.  One held what appeared to be silver cutlery, and the other was an obvious junk drawer.  It was filled with pens and pencils, a calculator, notebook, and several scraps of paper.  Tommy went through each and every one, reading what was written before tossing it back into the drawer.  He moved on to the livingroom and hallway closet, not finding anything of value.  The office was the same, as was the master bedroom.  They were coming up empty handed, which according to Adam was a good thing.  Good for him, as no one would know who he was, but bad for Adam because it meant he would not be finding his father’s money anytime soon.

 

“Fuck,”  Adam said, closing the final drawer on the filing cabinet that Vincent had in his walk-in closet.  “There’s got to be something, somewhere.  Two million doesn’t just up and walk off with no paper trail.  I’m missing something.”

 

“Two million?”  Tommy questioned.  Holy shit!  That was a lot of money.  When he’d  been told that his father had stolen money, he was thinking in the thousands.  Tommy had grown up thinking his father was a normal, middle-class man, not the right hand of a king pin.

 

Adam opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it at the last minute.  That look of sympathy and understanding took over his face as he looked at Tommy with a small, sad smile.  “I’m sorry you didn’t get to know your dad.”

 

“I did know my dad,”  Tommy said.  He looked around the room, taking in the designer clothes, shoes, and Sue’s handbags.  “I just didn’t know he had money.”

 

“Still.  It has to be overwhelming, knowing that he hid this side of himself from you.”

 

Unexpected anger boiled up to the surface.  Tommy didn’t know why, he never got angry.  Maybe it was being in this house - the house that he’d never seen until saw his family dead on its floor.  “And I’ll never get to know this side of him, because you killed him.”  Tommy’s voice dripped with an unfamiliar venom.

 

“I did what I had to do.”  Tommy waited for more of an explanation, but one didn’t come.  

 

The more silence that passed in the moment, the angrier Tommy got.  The events of the past days were catching up with him and sinking into his mind as reality.  His family was dead.  He was being held hostage by the killer.  Not only that, he was willingly helping the killer clean up the act.  Who the fuck was he?  Why the fuck did he not run to the cops the first chance he got earlier in the day?  He had no explanation, and that fueled his anger even more.

 

“I should have run,”  Tommy said, turning to Adam who was barely illuminated by the glow of the flashlight.  “I should have run when you left me alone.  Right to the cops!”

 

“Maybe.”  Again, no further explanation from Adam.

 

More anger.  “You’re a killer.  A monster.”

 

This got Adam’s attention.  He stood up from the filing cabinet he was crouched in front of and took a step towards Tommy.  “I am not a monster.”

 

Tommy held his ground at Adam’s approach.  “Yes.  You’re a monster.  You’ll probably kill me too, once I’m no longer useful.  Is that what you’re going to do?  Are you going to kill me?  Torture me?”

 

“I told you I wasn’t going to hurt you.”  Adam took another step.

 

“You’re a liar.  You’ll kill me.  It’s just a matter of time.”

 

This time Adam’s step was large enough to cover half the distance to Tommy.  As he eyes came into the light of the flashlight, the anger was apparent.  Tommy had hit a nerve.  “I. Am. Not. A. Liar.”

 

“Ha!  You kill for a living!  Of course you’re a liar!  You’re whole life if a lie.  Did your mother even die?  Or was that just a story to manipulate me?”

 

With no warning, Adam lunged at Tommy, slamming his back against the wall and wrapping his large hands tightly around Tommy’s throat.  Adam was taller than Tommy, so Tommy’s feet were barely able to find purchase.  Tommy choked on the air that was trapped in his lungs.  He clawed at Adam’s big hands, silently begging for the ability to breathe.

 

Adam puffed hot, agitated breath onto Tommy face.  He was in another place, but something in Tommy’s terrified face caused Adam to loosen his grip just enough to allow the trapped air to escape from Tommy’s lungs and be replaced.  

 

Tommy gulped in air as fast as he could, unsure as to whether or not Adam would cut off his air again.  The look on Adam’s face said it was a very real possibility

 

“I should kill you for that.”

 

Tommy tried to hold his head up high and pretend that he wasn’t scared shitless.  He was angry, down right pissed off, and that, in combination with feeling like he was staring death in the face, propelled his thoughts forward.  “Kill me, then!  Kill me and get it over with!  I know you’re going to eventually.  Just do it now.”

 

“I don’t want to hurt you.  How many times do I have to say it?”

 

“It’s a lie!  You’re going to kill me.  Just do it already.”

 

“It’s not a lie,”  Adam said, squeezing Tommy’s neck a little bit tighter.  The fact that he was quickly losing control was as plain as day.  If Tommy pushed any further, he might very well end up dead.

 

What was the use of prolonging the inevitable.  He was going to die.  There was no way around it.  He knew how it worked.  Even if Adam were telling the truth that he didn’t want to hurt Tommy, Tommy had seen enough documentaries about the mob and underground crime to know there was no surviving this.  Adam would kill him.  He would have to.  The choice was never his.  

 

Taking one final deep breath, Tommy said the words that he hoped would bring this whole ordeal to an end.  “Kill me.”

 

“Tommy, god damn it!  I said-”

 

“Kill.  Me.”

 

“Don’t...”  

 

“Kill me, you fucking monster!”  

 

As the last word left his lips, Tommy felt the back of his head smack the wall.  Heat shot down his neck.  The grip on his neck released, Adam’s hands sliding up to Tommy’s face, grabbing both sides of Tommy’s head before brutally slamming his lips to Tommy’s.  

 

Tommy’s brain didn’t begin to comprehend what was happening until he felt the wetness of Adam’s tongue pushing between his lips.  He should have pushed Adam off, kicked him in the balls, done something to get the man off of him, but for some reason, he couldn’t.  Every rational piece of his mind was yelling at him, telling him that this was his captor, a murderer, an enemy and not a friend.  Instead, all he could focus on was the softness of Adam’s lips and the warmth of his tongue as it forced itself through his parted lips.

 

With all the things that were wrong with what was happening, all Tommy felt was right.  Before he even realized what he was doing, he opened his mouth and began to kiss Adam back. A small moan escaped Adam’s throat as he held on to Tommy more securely.  It wasn’t rough and harsh like it had been moments before.  He held Tommy’s face gently, even though his kiss was forceful and frenzied.  Tommy let out an equally wanton moan.  If Adam hadn’t been holding onto him, Tommy would have slid to the ground unable to hold himself up with his own legs.

 

It was over as quickly as it’d begun.  Adam pulled away, breathing heavy.  He looked Tommy in the eyes, giving Tommy his full, penetrating, electric gaze before dropping his head until their foreheads met.  In a whispered voice he repeated.  “I don’t...want...to hurt you.”

 

As Tommy was about to respond, tell Adam that he believed him, something crashed downstairs.  

 

“Shit,”  Adam said, backing away slightly, allowing Tommy the room to get his bearings.

 

“What is it?”  Tommy asked, already knowing the answer.

 

“We need to hide.”  

 

Tommy took Adam’s hand as they crept down the hallway to Abigail’s room.  He hoped there was a secret room or something in there, because if not, he had a feeling neither of them would survive the night.

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

There was, in fact, a secret room.  At the very back of Abigail’s closet was a panic room.  From the outside, it wasn’t visible.  The wall looked like every other normal, painted wall Tommy had seen in his life.  The inside was something he’d never seen before.

 

Without missing a beat, Adam flipped open a hidden panel on the wall, punched in a number code, and the door slid open with a soft whooshing sound.  The door was metal, thick like a vault door inside banks.  Adam closed the panel, nudged Tommy through the door, and hit an inside panel to seal the door shut behind them. The inside was bright.  The heavy metal walls were plastered and painted a soft gray.  The room was about the size of a small bedroom, one wall held a pantry with a sink, one a futon, and at the far side of the room was a partition.  Behind the partition was a narrow shower and toilet.  It was obvious to Tommy the room was built and stocked for potentially extended stays.

 

“This is not good.  This is so fucking not good,”  Adam said, passing back and forth across the plush carpet.

 

Not knowing what to say, Tommy remained quiet while Adam continued treading along the floor.

 

“We didn’t get through all the rooms.  There could be evidence out there.  God, I fucked up.”

 

“You should have killed me,”  Tommy said, finally deciding to talk.  He wasn’t accusing or angry like he’d been earlier.  He was just stating a fact.

 

Looking exasperated, Adam stopped pacing and looked at Tommy, who’d taken a seat on the middle of the futon.  “Tommy, I’ve already said I don’t want to hurt you.  How many times do I have to repeat it.”

 

Tommy brushed a strand of hair from his face that had been obscuring his view of the very distraught man in front of him. “All I’m saying is that if you’d have killed me at the beginning, like you were supposed to, none of this would be happening.

 

Adam grabbed his hair and wound his fingers tightly through it as though he wanted to pull it out by the roots.  A strange need to cross the room and comfort the man took over Tommy.  He didn’t understand the strange reactions he was having to Adam, so instead of rushing across the room and wrapping Adam in his arms, he settled for, “I’m glad you didn’t, by the way.”

 

With only and exaggerated exhale, Adam moved over to the pantry and opened it’s wooden door.  He reached inside, pulling out two energy bars and two bottles of water.  “Sorry, it’s warm,”  he said, tossing a water and bar Tommy’s way.

 

“Thanks.”  Tommy caught both in the air.  He sat back against the soft cushion and slowly peeled back the wrapper.  With all the commotion since Adam returned home, he’d not realized how hungry he’d been.

Home.  It was such an inappropriate word to use to describe his cohabitation with his kidnapper, but that was the word that came to mind every time he thought about the house he’d woken up in, just two days before. It should be his prison, but how could it possibly be a prison when he felt so safe within its walls?  He should hate Adam for killing his family, for taking him hostage, but instead, he let himself be swallowed up in a heated kiss that left him wanton and confused.  He’d think he had Stockholm syndrome, if it hadn’t been only days since he’d been put under house arrest.

 

He tried to push the thoughts out of his head, but as he watched Adam taking small bites and sips, Tommy found himself drawn to the movements of Adam’ throat.  

 

He finished off his energy par, and placed the wrapper in his pocket.  Unable to look at Adam without being bombarded with conflicting emotions, Tommy chose to look down at this lap.  He began to fidget.  The silence was nothing less than awkward.  Not only were they hiding from men who potentially would end both of their lives, there was also a giant elephant in the room that Tommy didn’t want to acknowledge.

 

“You should probably get some sleep.  We’ll be here for the night,”  Adam said, breaking the silence between them.  “You can take the futon.”

 

“Thanks,” was all Tommy said, as he watched Adam pull open a hidden cabinet above the futon and pull out two pillows and two blankets.  Adam handed one of each to Tommy, before situating himself on the floor.  He threw the blanket over his shoulders and rolled over, facing away from Tommy.

 

Tommy’s head hit the pillow, and he stared up at the ceiling.  He didn’t think he’d be able to sleep.  Too many thoughts were racing through his head.  Who were the men downstairs?  Why were they searching the house?  Probably for the same reason Adam had assassinated Tommy’s family.  Money.  They were looking for anything that would lead them to the two million his father had stolen from Adam’s crime-boss dad.

 

Turning his head to the side, Tommy stared at the back of Adam’s head.  His dark hair was a stark contrast to the light shade of the pillowcase.  He was breathing heavily, not the kind of breathing someone does when they’re asleep, but the kind that happens when someone’s trying to work through some kind of inner turmoil.  Before he even knew what he was saying, in a soft, almost unintelligible voice, Tommy said, “You can share with me.  Ya know, if you want.”

 

Adam rolled to face Tommy.  “What?”

 

“The futon.  We can share.  The floor looks uncomfortable, and considering you’re the brains of this operation, you need to be alert.”

 

Adam eyed Tommy quizzically.  The look on his face said are you fucking crazy?

 

To show that he was indeed serious, Tommy stood up, and maneuvered the futon open to accommodate two people.  He then climbed back on, moving over to the wall and held the blanket open, motioning for Adam to climb in.  Adam was hesitant at first, but slowly stood up, grabbed his pillow, and lowered himself onto the bed next to Tommy.  Tommy, in turn, pulled the blanket up and over the both of them before rolling over to face the wall.

 

He wasn’t sure what had possessed him to offer up half his space, but now that Adam was situated beside Tommy,  an awkward embarrassment took hold.   He stayed facing the wall until he heard Adam’s breathing steady.  Once Tommy was convinced that Adam was asleep, he rolled over and watched the sleeping man, pondering what the hell he’d gotten himself into and how he wasn’t even sure he wanted to find a way out.

 

~

 

Tommy woke up to a blood curdling scream.  He sat up as if he’d been shot from a cannon.  His heart racing with panic, he looked left and right across the darkened room.  The only light coming from a small red light on the wall where the keypad was placed.  As his heart slowed, and he began to think he’d dreamt the scream, Adam began thrashing and mumbling in his sleep.  His words were incoherent, but it was obvious that he was in distress.

 

Tommy watched the man as he whimpered and pleaded with some unknown entity[ the jumbled words sounding like a desperate man begging for his life.  The conflicted feelings that Tommy had been experiencing surfaced.  The compulsion to touch the man, lend him a comforting hand fought with the part of his brain that was telling him he should hate Adam and that Tommy was a fucking idiot for not doing just that.  The feelings of compassion and on some level need to touch Adam prevailed.  

 

Tommy gently put his hand on Adam’s shoulder.  Adam was facing away from him, balled up in the blankets.  Something in Tommy’s heart fluttered with anguish as he watched Adam battle whatever demon was in his head.  He slowly began to rub circles across Adam’s shoulder, leaned down and whispered softly into Adam’s ear.

 

“Shh.  It’s okay, Adam.  Wake up.”

 

Nothing.  Adam whimpered, curling his body into a tight ball.

 

Leaning in closer to Adam’s ear, he continued to talk soothingly into Adam’ ear.  He needed Adam to calm down and wake up.  The unease he began to feel at Adam’s distress was growing by the minute.  What if those men were still there?  What if they could hear Adam’ scream through the wall?

 

“Come on, Adam.  Wake up.  Wake up for me.  Please.”

 

Nudging Adam in the shoulder a bit harder, Tommy finally got the man to open his eyes.  However, Tommy didn’t expect the man to shoot up like a rocket and tackle Tommy, taking them both to the ground.  Tommy hit with a thud, Adam coming down on top of him, pinning Tommy to the ground.  His breathing was heaving, and his eyes were wild.  Whatever he’d been dreaming was intense and carried over when he’d woken.

 

“It’ me.  It’s me, Tommy.  It’s okay.  You’re okay.”  Tommy tried to calm Adam.  He could feel the other man’s heart beat viciously against his chest.

 

The heavy breaths coming from Adam hit hard against Tommy’s skin.  He stayed there, pinned to the ground, and waited for Adam to come out of whatever place he’d been.  He wasn’t hurting Tommy, so he felt no need to try and push Adam away.  It’d be like trying to pick up a spooked cat.  Claws would come out.  Tommy stayed quietly still, the only movement that of his chest as he breathed slowly.

 

As Adam’s heart began to slow, his eyes also began to clear.  Once he was completely back in reality, he looked down at Tommy, his electric gaze landing on Tommy’s mouth.  His eyes moved back and forth between Tommy’s lips and his eyes, lingering a bit too long on each feature.  He appeared to be about to say something when, instead, he buried his head against Tommy’s neck and sobbed.  He was actually sobbing against Tommy’s shoulder.  Whatever he’d just had inside his head, it’d been doing a number on him.

 

Tommy instinctively placed an arm around Adam’s waist and one on the back of his head.  He cradled the man like one would cradle a distraught lover.  He had no clue why his body fought the logic in his head, but it did.  He hadn’t run when he should have.  He carried on conversations with his kidnapper. He told him things as if they were friendly acquaintances.  And that kiss, that kiss was unexpected and should have been angrily refused, but his body was a traitor.  It had a mind of it’s own when it came to his beautiful kidnapper.

 

Adam had been mumbling into Tommy’s neck with a continuous string of gibberish that no one could have understood. He sniffled and sobbed, choking on the cries that had been coming up from his throat.  Tommy rubbed small circles up and down Adam’s back as he waited it out.

 

Twenty minutes or so passed before Adam was calm and raised his head to Tommy.  He looked down at where he was lying, and quickly got to his feet.  He’d knocked all the blankets as well as he and Tommy onto the floor.  The look on his face showed just how embarrassed he’d been.  Tommy cleared his throat in an attempt to clear the awkwardness out of the air.

 

“I’m sorry.”  Adam said, walking over to the the far wall and hitting a button that Tommy hadn’t noticed was there last night when they were forced into the small room.  Punching in the numbers, he turned around and faced the wall.  The drywall cracked and separated into panels, revealing a high end surveillance system.  There were eight small monitors in all. Not all rooms were shown on the small screens, but judging by the multiple angles they were looking at, Tommy imagined they covered the rooms with the most traffic.  One screen held a live feed of the kitchen, another the office, and three bedrooms, the front and back walks, and the garage rounded out the feed.

 

There appeared to be no one inside the house.Whomever had been there the night before had either found what they were looking for, or got tired of searching a dead end.  Tommy wasn’t sure, but he was glad that all the commotion of the previous night was over.

 

“We need to finish the sweep.  If no one is here and the place has already been raided, we’re sitting ducks,”  Adam said, putting on a face of steel as he spoke.

 

“But they’re gone.”

 

“Yeah, and we don’t know what they found.  They could have a bank statement in their hands as we speak.”  

 

That wouldn’t be good.  Tommy already had a target on his back.  He didn’t need anything added to his current predicament.

 

“Just show me where to go, and I’ll follow,”  Tommy said, not realizing that how he’d worded his statement could very well be taken out of context.

 

And it was.  Adam gave Tommy a peculiar look before turning to pick up the room.  He explained if anyone came across the panic room, it needed to look like no one was in it and was clean of any fingerprints or DNA.  Tommy helped the best he could, rubbing down the surfaces with a travel towel.  Once they were finished, Adam gave the room a final once over.

 

“Let’s get out of this room, finish sweeping the house, and get the hell out of here.”

  
“Lead the way,”  Tommy said, as he moved past Adam and back into the house.  His father’s house that he’d never visited and now would never get the chance to know as anything other than a crime scene and a cover up. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On hiatus for the holidays. More chapters, more frequent in the new year.

What the fuck was happening?  How could things have possibly gone any worse?  Adam questioned everything that had happened in the past couple of days.  Killing Vincent should have been a routine job, no mess, no frills, but it’d turned into a giant mess.  Not only did he leave a witness, but he was now protecting the witness.  Why was he protecting the witness?  Those fucking eyes, they were the reason Adam couldn’t pull the trigger.  Those eyes were the reason, he’d botched the initial sweep.  They were also the reason he’d gone back, the reason they ended up in Vincent’s panic room, and the reason Adam was stressing now.

 

They’d found nothing as they swept the remainder of the house.  Either there was nothing to find, or the men found evidence before he’d gotten back.  Those men had brought up another question in Adam’s mind.  Why would his father send men into clean up his job, before he’d given the go-ahead.  Standard protocol, a system that was meant to keep the players hidden, had been for Adam to get in, do the job, sweep if necessary and get out.  He would then call his father or one of his father’s men to go and do a final sweep and get rid of all evidence of foul play.  All of Adam’s victims disappeared, no one the wiser as to what really happened to the unfortunate individuals.  Adam had told his father that he was going back to finish searching. There’d been no need to bring in extra men.

 

Another very distressing hypothesis sat right beside the idea that Adam’s father had sent the masked men, and it was more likely the truth.  Someone else knew.  Someone knew about the hit on Vincent and why it was made.  They were looking for the money themselves.  This was not good.  If someone knew about the money, someone who was disloyal, they may also know about Tommy.

 

A protective knot gripped Adam’s insides.  Like hell anyone would get to Tommy.  They’d have to kill Adam trying.

 

A small breath caught in Adam’s throat as he realized what he was thinking.  Why?  Why the hell was he so goddamn protective of a man he didn’t even know.  Protective wasn’t even the right word.  It was more like possessive.  Somewhere during their very short adventure, the lines began to blur.  Tommy wasn’t his hostage. Tommy was just his.  Adam’s, and hell or high water would he let anyone disturb even a single hair on his head.  No one would ever get close to Tommy, in any way, if Adam could help it.

 

Tommy’s voice broke Adam from his thoughts.  “So, how did you know how to get into my family’s panic room?”

 

Of all the things to ask after the night they’d had, that wasn’t what he’d expected.  He’d expected questions about the men.  Maybe what the hell made Adam think he was allowed to kiss Tommy, or worse, ask about what demons had Adam screaming in the night.  He wasn’t ready to explain that, not to himself, let alone to an almost stranger.

 

He could have explained the kiss.  It was a moment of weakness in a highly stressful and angry situation.  Tommy had to know he was a tiny, little package of hotness.  If he brought it up, Adam had no problem admitting he had an attraction to the young man, just so long as the confusion of his true feelings stayed hidden away.  Though something in his head was whispering that Tommy was having a similar inner conflict, Adam wasn’t going to have a share circle and talk about the strange attraction that seemed to have swallow them up.

 

“Abigail and I used to hide in there when we wanted to get away from things.”  Adam thought back to the happy memories he’d had of Abigail.  As kids they would go into the room and pretend it was a different place and time.  Sometimes they would pretend they were pirates on a ship at sea.  Other times they would pretend they were on the coast, relaxing under an umbrella as the waves licked the shore at their feet.  It was always a different location, never the same scenario twice.  Neither had made it to their imaginary places, both prisoners to the world they had been born into.

 

Tommy nodded his head in agreement.  He was looking out the window as Adam drove back to the hideaway house.  He looked distant.  He was thinking about something.  Adam was curious as to what.  Was he thinking about how the hell he ended up in this mess, swept up into a world that his father kept from him.  Was he thinking about all the things he’d never do, now that he was a targeted man.  For now, no one knew who Tommy was, but that wouldn’t last forever.  And when it came to light that he is the son of the late Vincent, both Adam’s father’s men and their enemies would be after Tommy until the day he died.  He’d live the rest of his life on the run, hidden away in protection: Adam’s protection, both from obligation and from want.

 

“I had a treehouse,”  Tommy said, not taking his eyes off whatever he’d been looking at through the window.  “I’d go up there and hide away when I wanted to be alone.”

 

“I never had a treehouse.  Well, not one that wasn’t in my head.”  Adam didn’t know why he’d said that.  He didn’t let anyone into his head, ever.  With Tommy, however, he felt the need to open the floodgates and tell him anything he wanted to know.

 

“That’s sad.”

 

Adam glanced over at Tommy for a brief moment before focusing his eyes back on the road. “It’s not sad.  It’s the way it had to be.”

 

“Why?  Why did it have to be that way?”  Adam didn’t understand why Tommy wanted to talk to him, let alone know things about him.  He’d been in a situation once in his life that had some similarities to the one Tommy was currently in, and Adam would have rather died than uttered a single word to the men who’d held him.

 

“That’s just life for the beloved son of America’s Godfather.”  Adam sighed.  He’d missed out on a normal childhood, but his mother had tried to give him one before she’d died.  His father had too, to some extent, and Adam had more good memories than bad.

 

Tommy laughed from the passenger’s seat.

 

“What?”

 

“That’s sad.”

 

Adam had to laugh too.  It was his life, after all, that Tommy felt had been so tragic.  “Don’t get too sorrowful.  It’s your life now, too, bab-”  Adam caught himself before he’d finished the word.  What had possessed him to speak to Tommy with endearments?  God, he was losing his damn mind.

 

For Tommy’s part, he played it off well.  He cleared his throat as the look of surprise settled out of his features.  Replacing it was a look of sad realization.  “I’m never going to have a normal life again, am I?”

 

“What’s normal?”  Adam asked with a sarcastic chuckle.

 

Tommy just smiled sadly, and with a shrug of his shoulder, looked back out the window.

 

They were almost back to the hideaway house, their new temporary, permanent home.  Together.  A unnerving sensation danced across Adam’s shoulders.  For all intents and purposes, it would be a home.  It was a home that Adam would be sharing with his hostage, his prisoner, the young, soft, tempting man that had become the object of Adam’s strange and unorthodox and possessive itch that he shouldn’t scratch.

 

“We’re here,”  Adam announced as he brought the car to a stop inside the three car garage. “Let’s go inside.  I’ll make you something to eat.  You have to be starving, with only an energy bar for the past fourteen hours.”

 

Tommy nodded and turned to get out of the car, but not before Adam saw the look of perplexity in his eyes.

 

Without a word, both men got out of the car and made their way into the house.  Adam went directly to the kitchen, while Tommy veered right to the stairs, disappearing to the second floor.

 

Adam began the task of making dinner.  It was too late for lunch, but early for a formal dinner.  He began opening cupboards and rummaging through the selves until he came across something that sounded good.  He decided that comfort fit the current mood, and his childhood favorite would do the trick.  His mother used to make him grilled cheese with homemade tomato soup.  It was a family recipe that she’d taught Adam how to make before she’d died.  Adam had only been eight, but he remembered every ingredient and every step.  He got to work as his mind wandered.

 

It wandered to the same place, the only place it had since that night he completed the job with Vincent.  Tommy had consumed his thoughts since the moment their eyes met.  In an instant, he’d memorized those eyes.  They were lighter than chocolate, with a shimmer.  The color matched the top self malts in his father’s private bar, rich with a depth that can only be appreciated by those who’d experienced it first hand.

 

Tommy was unaware, but while they were in the panic room, Adam had woken to find Tommy curled at his side, close enough that Adam could feel the warm breath caressing the skin of this neck. He’d had the desire, almost a compulsion to touch the porcelain smooth skin between Tommy’s full lashes and his defined cheekbones.  Giving in to the temptation, Adam ran his fingers over Tommy’s warm skin with featherlight touches.  He would have sworn Tommy’s skin left a tingle in his fingertips.

 

Adam didn’t stop there.  He moved his fingers lower, dusting over the lines and cords of Tommy’s exposed wrist.  The sleeve of his shirt was pulled up just enough for Adam to see the impressive ink that Tommy sported up the length of his arm.  Adam had always liked tattoos.  He found them to be sexy as hell, especially on the arms.  They gave off a sense of danger and rebellion, two qualities Adam didn’t sense from the petite man.   

 

He’d spent almost an hour exploring while Tommy slept, even testing out places that he’d been sure would have earned him a kick in the balls if Tommy had been awake.  His body reacted against his will, and Adam spent the remainder of the night uncomfortable and horny until he’d eventually fallen asleep.  His middle of the night curiosity was probably what had led to his nightmare.

 

Before he’d had a chance to dwell on the negative, Tommy emerged from the bottom of the steps.  He looked clean shaven, freshly out of the shower.  He wore a t-shirt and athletic pants that were grossly oversized on his small frame.  

 

“I hope you don’t mind. I used some of your stuff,”  Tommy said coming to a rest on the barstool at the island.

 

“Help yourself.  What’s mine is yours.”  Those words had so much more meaning than Adam was willing to dissect at the moment. He looked Tommy up and down before adding, “Except my clothes.  You look like a hobo.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

“I’ll take you shopping and get you some things that fit.”

 

Tommy looked surprised. “Ah...Thanks?”  He said it as a question, his voice even elevated towards the end.

 

Changing the subject, Adam placed a plate and small bowl in front of Tommy and sat one for himself at the spot next to Tommy.

 

“Grilled cheese?”

 

“My mom used to make it for me when I’d have a bad day.”

 

Tommy smiled sympathetically, taking the spoon Adam had handed him and ladling up a bit.  He blew on it for a brief moment before taking the bite.  “This is really good.”

 

“Thanks.  It’s homemade.  Secret family recipe.”  This time Adam smiled.

 

They again sat in silence while they finished their early dinner.  It was the way it seemed to happen.  Silence filled the air as they replenished the sustenance their bodies had depleted. It was comfortable, the silence between them, like they’d known each other for years and didn’t need words to be content, only each other’s company.

 

Once they were finished, Adam cleaned up the mess and quickly loaded the dishes into the washer.  Tommy had offered to help, but Adam insisted he go and relax on the couch.   Tommy obeyed and made his way to the living room.  Adam heard the tv come to life, the soft murmur of voices in the background.  He finished as quickly as he was able and joined Tommy in front of the television.  He sat on the couch as well, but made sure there was enough room between the two so Tommy wouldn’t feel uncomfortable.

 

“Anything good?”

 

“Just watching the news.  Thought I’d see if…”

 

Adam knew what Tommy had been looking for.  There was no easy way to have a conversation about his family with Tommy, so he opted for the quick truth.  “No one will ever know they’re dead except for the...organization,”  Adam said for lack of a better term.

 

“So, they just disappear?”

 

“Yes.”  What else could he say.  It was the truth.

 

“I know they’re dead.”

 

“Tommy, I’m so-”

 

Adam was cut off by an irritated Tommy.  “Don’t say you’re sorry.  It’s patronizing.  We both know what you did, and you’re not sorry.  If you were sorry, you never would have done it to begin with.  Now my family is dead, I have to live in hiding, and their murder is my lo-”

 

Tommy stopped himself before he finished.  Was he about to say lover?  That’s what it sounded like to Adam.  He couldn’t be sure, but he’d thought he’d heard the beginnings of a v before Tommy abruptly stopped.  Why would he say that?  Why would he use that word to describe Adam.  They were barely acquaintances, who happened to share one stress induced kiss.  Sure, Adam may have had the occasional thought of having Tommy in his bed, but those thoughts were just a natural reaction to an attractive man. Was Tommy having some of those same thoughts?  Adam wasn’t blind to the confusion that crossed Tommy’s face every time he’d say something that in this situation they were in should have never been uttered.

 

_Just show me where to go, and I’ll follow._  That was the last of the many things Tommy had said that under normal kidnapping circumstances, a hostage would never say to his abductor.  Tommy confused Adam.  He made him question everything he knew, and made him think about things he’d never considered before.

 

“Their murder is what?”  Adam asked, knowing Tommy wouldn’t finish what he’d been saying, yet hoping that he would.

 

“Nevermind.  I should go get some sleep, It’s been a long day.”  Tommy stood and made his way back towards the stairs.

 

The words left Adam’s mouth before he even knew what he was saying.  “You can stay in my room.  The bed’s more comfortable.  I’ll stay in one of the guest rooms.”

 

“Thanks.”  Tommy said before turning and ascending the stairs out of Adam’s sight.

 

~

 

It had happened again.  Two nights in a row.  It’d been years since Adam had been plagued by nightly dreams of his time with _them_.  He’d moved past it, as much as one could, but since Tommy had come along, they seemed to be rearing their ugly head.

 

In a cold sweat, Adam’s eyes flew open, and he took in his surroundings.  He was in a guest room.  He was safe.  He knew that much, but it didn’t stop his heart from pounding in his chest.  He had to calm down before he had a panic attack.  The heaving feeling running across his abdomen wasn’t helping.  Squinting in the moonlight that was filtering in through the open blinds, Adam gasped silently as he discovered the cause of the restrained feeling.  Snuggled beside him with an arm thrown over his torso, was a sleeping Tommy.  Why the hell was Tommy in Adam’s bed?  A better question would be why the hell was Tommy out of Adam’s bed.  The guest bedroom Adam had chosen was on the first floor, and Tommy wouldn’t have know which room Adam had been in.

 

Deciding to not try and analyze it until tomorrow, Adam situated himself back down into a comfortable position, and enjoyed the warmth that was the man lying beside him, until he fell into a silent, restful sleep.

  
  
  
  



	8. Chapter 8

_ This can’t possibly be happening.  I’m dreaming.  I have to be dreaming,  _ Tommy thought to himself as he stood in the confines of the small, rectangular bathroom.  Adam hadn’t lied about taking him shopping.  Tommy had no doubt that Adam meant it when he’d said it, but Tommy was expecting a quick trip to a department store.  Instead, Adam brought the department store to them.

 

A young lady with long sunkissed hair, unloaded a van full of rolling clothes rods.  Each one was full of different kinds of menswear from track pants to suits.  She also carried in six duffle bags and a rolling cart of shoes. Tommy tried to protest.  He would have been happy with a few pairs of sweats and some underwear that fit, but Adam insisted he try everything on and pick what he liked.

 

Pulling on a long sleeved tshirt, Tommy opened the door and walked out into the adjoining bedroom.  Adam was sitting on the edge of the bed, and the girl, Natalie, was standing by the window leaning against the wall. 

 

“I like that one,”  Adam said for the hundredth time.  Adam had insisted that Tommy show him each and every article of clothing.  It was strange and awkward.  He couldn’t begin to figure out why Adam was buying him clothes, let alone helping him pick them out.

 

“You’ve said that about everything.”

 

“Because I’ve liked them all.”

 

Tommy rolled his eyes and let out and uncomfortable sigh.  Adam’s eyes had been boring holes through him since the first pair of jeans made their way onto Tommy’s body.  It’d spoken volumes, but volumes of what, Tommy was unsure. Adam had the best poker face he’d ever seen.  He gave nothing away with the intensity of his gaze. 

 

“Really, I’ll just take a couple of pairs of jeans and a few t-shirts and call it a day,”  Tommy said, turning to go back into the bathroom.

 

Adam scrunched his nose up in displeasure.  “Absolutely not!  You’ll need more than that.”

 

“Okay, throw in some underwear, socks, and a pair of sleep pants, and I’ll be good, Tommy said, again turning to exit the room, but being stopped by Adam’s displeased voice. 

 

“Nat, we’ll take them all.”

 

“What?”  Tommy said dumbfounded.  There had to be over two thousand dollars worth of clothes and accessories. 

 

“I said we’re taking them all.”

 

“I don’t need all.  When the hell am I ever going to need to wear a suit?”  Tommy asked, pointing to one blue, and one black suit hanging from one of the carts.

 

“You never know when you’ll need a suit.”

 

Tommy looked at Adam like he was crazy.  “I’m your hostage.  Where the hell am I going to wear the damn thing?  In the garage?”

 

Adam answered with a clipped tone.  “Number one, you are not a hostage.  You can leave if you please, but your safety can not be guaranteed.  Number two, I’m buying everything so you can stop pouting like a three year old.”

 

“I am not pouting like a three-”  Tommy cut himself off as another thought cut through his thoughts.  “I can leave?”

 

Adam sighed, patting the spot next to him on the bed, beckoning Tommy to join him. “Yes.  You can leave.”

 

“But, what if I go to the police?”  He wouldn’t, but Adam didn’t know that. 

 

“You won’t.”

 

“How do you know that?”

 

“Because if you were going to, you would have when I left you alone.”

 

“Oh.”  It was all Tommy could think to say.  He’d stayed on the grounds while Adam was away.  The thought of escape never really even crossed his mind. 

 

Adam looked Tommy up and down.  He was still in the tight-fitting jeans and long-sleeve t-shirt.  Adam was looking at him as if he were a panther sizing up its prey.  The look, hot and consuming, left Tommy with the ever familiar of confusion.  

 

The look was gone almost before it began, as Adam turned away and abruptly stood.  He walked across the room and stopped in front of the window.  Without looking at Tommy, he said, “Besides, if you left, your safety would not be guaranteed.”

 

There it was again, the talk of his safety.  He didn’t get it.  Why did Adam care so damn much about his safety?  Why did he care about anything at all in regards to Tommy?  Why didn’t he kill him?  Was it the same feeling that made Tommy feel safe instead of frightened?  He didn’t know, but he knew that something passed between them that night when their eyes locked.  He didn’t know what it was, but it was causing the two men to gravitate, beyond their own will, towards each other. 

 

~ 

 

After putting away the ridiculous amount of clothes Adam had bought for Tommy, he decided to take a shower and a nap.  Being cooped up in a house that wasn’t his with a man that left him dazed and confused took a toll on his mind.  Tommy stepped into the hot spray and signed with contentment.  

 

The hot water rolled from his head, down his shoulders and back, leaving a sense of relaxation in it’s wake.   He needed the moment to himself.  All and everything his life was now going to be was overwhelming to say the least.  He still didn’t know what the masked men were looking for or if they’d found it.  If it were something that led to him, he’d be hidden for the rest of his life.  He’d never be able to walk down the street without a target on his back.  Would Adam be there to protect him, or would he send Tommy packing, off to an undisclosed location to live a free life under a new identity?

 

The last thought saddened him.  Tommy didn’t know why, but the thought of Adam letting him go left a sour taste in his mouth.  

 

He shook the water from his eyes.   These thoughts had to stop.  He couldn’t think of Adam like that.  He was a temporary figure in Tommy’s fucked up life.  Once the smoke cleared, he’d probably never see Adam again.  They’d go their separate ways, Tommy being thankful for the freedom, Adam being relieved that he no longer had to babysit.

 

The tension was too much.  Tommy had to release it, or he was going to go crazy.  Slowly, he reached down and took himself in hand.  The first full pump was always the worst.  It was almost painful, but gave way to something much more desired.  The feelings that his hand provided crept up his spine, causing him to shiver even under the hot spray.  There was no better stress relief than an orgasm.  It didn’t matter how one made it happen, though masterbation was at the bottom of Tommy’s list.  The only thing that mattered was making it happen.

 

Tommy’s mind wandered as he chased the impending pleasure.  Immediately, images of Adam began to float in his mind.  The way he smelled, the way his face looked as he slept, his piercing eyes that were the color of rolling hawaiian waves, every sense was zeroed in on the dark haired man who was probably downstairs cooking or watching TV.  

 

He tried to clear his mind of the images of Adam.  He tried to pull up memories of his first time.  It had been his freshman year of college.  He’d just came out to his family and friends, and brought his boyfriend home to meet his family at the same time.  They’d been together for several months, and thankfully his family took the news well.  Everyone but his father.  He wasn’t cruel, but Tommy always sensed that he wasn’t truly accepting of his sexuality.  They’d gone back to the dorms that night, and Tommy had lost his virginity.  Everett was hot, dark hair and blue eyes, tall and strong.  Sadly, he wasn’t enough to keep Adam from creeping into his mind.

 

He thought about his one night stand.  Not his finest hour, but the guy was hot as hell and good in bed.  Tall, with dark brown hair and crystal blue eyes.  

 

That was interesting.  Tommy had never thought about it before, but it appeared he had a type.  Tall, dark, and blue.  He’d slept with four people in four years since he’d lost his virginity, and all of them held the same physical qualities as the man that kept invading his thoughts.  

 

Tommy pushed the thought out of his head as he got closer to his destination.  It was something he would have to acknowledge at some point, but now was not the time.  With no other choice but to imagine what Adam looked like underneath his put together exterior, Tommy came with a soft cry of Adam’s name on his lips.

 

“I was just making sure...you were okay.”  Adam’s voice filtered through Tommy’s foggy head, snapping him back to reality in a heartbeat.  “You’ve been in here for a while.”

 

Tommy stood still, unable to move.  He was almost certain by the long pause between words, that Adam had heard him.  How embarrassing to get caught masterbating, but even worse was being caught masterbating by the man you were fantizing about.  Tommy wanted the floor to open and suck him down into it’s large, black hole. 

 

“I’ll just, uh, go wait for you downstairs.”

 

The door closed softly.  It took Tommy several minutes before he was able to move.  By the time the shock wore off, the water had begun to run cold.  He toweled himself off and got dressed as slowly as possible.  The last thing he wanted to do was be in the same room as Adam after what had just happened.  Every ounce of tension he was trying to release had built back up in an instant. 

 

With a heavy sigh and a lot of courage, Tommy made his way downstairs.  Adam was indeed in the kitchen, cooking up something that smelled delicious.  If Tommy had learned anything in his short time cohabitating with Adam, it was that he was one hell of a cook.  He walked closer to where Adam was slaving over the hot stove and dared a peek around Adam’s shoulder.  

 

“Have a nice shower?”  Adam asked, not turning around to look at Tommy as he stirred pasta in a pot.  The slight hitch in Adam’s voice confirmed what Tommy feared.  Adam had heard.

 

“Sure.”  It was all Tommy was willing to offer. 

 

Adam brushed off the comment, thankfully dropping the subject completely.  Instead, he asked Tommy to grab some plates.  He scooped up two very large helpings of alfredo, and gestured Tommy to the living room.  

 

He put the plates on the coffee table and turned on the TV.  It was only moments later that Adam joined him on the couch.  As always, Adam sat at the opposite end.  He grabbed a plate while Tommy surfed through the channels.  Tommy stopped on ESPN, much to the displeasure of Adam.

 

“What?  You don’t like sports?”

 

Adam grimaced.  “Only if it’s a team I’ve placed a bet on, and even then I don’t watch.”

 

“But everyone loves sports.”

 

“You’re wrong.  Every neanderthal loves sports.”

 

Tommy laughed.  “So, I’m a neanderthal?”

 

“No.  The people I deal with...in the family business,”  Adam said, almost sounding shy when talking about his job,  “tend to be barbaric.”

 

Tommy laughed harder.  “Barbaric?  That’s hilarious coming from a murder-for-hire type of guy.”

 

“That’s my job.  It’s not who I am.”  Adam looked almost sad.  He turned his head away from Tommy and stared blankly at the screen.

 

Reaching across the distance, Tommy cupped Adam’s jaw and slowly turned his face back in his direction.  Looking deeply into Adam’s guarded eyes, Tommy said,  “Then tell me.  Who are you?”

 

The intimacy in the touch shot sparks through Tommy.  From his fingertips touching Adam’s jaw, all the way to his toes, something inside him began to burn like a match that had been struck. 

 

Adam stared searchingly back into Tommy’s curious eyes, a look of amazement blanketing his face.  A moment or two later, Adam’s brows furrowed and the look of amazement morphed into a look of bewilderment.

 

“Why didn’t you run?”  Adam asked, keeping eye contact with Tommy as Tommy continued to cup his jaw.

 

Unconsciously brushing his thumb back and forth along the smooth skin, Tommy replied, “Because I didn’t have a choice.”

 

“You always have a choice.”

 

“No.  If I leave, I risk my life.”

 

“If you stay, you risk your life.”

 

“You won’t hurt me.”

 

“I might.”

 

Tommy inched a little bit closer to Adam.  “If you were going to, you would have already.”

 

Adam followed suit and inched closer to Tommy.  “There are many ways to hurt someone.”

 

Again, Tommy leaned closer.  “I trust you.”

 

“Trust is a dangerous game.”

 

“I’m willing to take the risk,”  Tommy said leaning in the final few inches until he felt Adam’s warm, wet lips melt into his own. 


	9. Chapter 9

It was over before it even began.  Tommy’s lips had barely brushed Adam’s before Adam pulled away and stood abruptly.  He crossed the room towards the door.  He’d mumbled something about needing to go before the door unceremoniously closed behind him. 

 

He hurried down the hall into the first room he came to.  He sank down into the plush armchair by the window and put his head in his hands.  What the hell had just happened?  He’d kissed Tommy again.  No.  Tommy had kissed him, and not the same heated, emotionally charged kiss that Adam had given him at Vincent’s house.  Tommy had kissed him, softly, with a tenderness that Adam didn’t fully understand.  He’d been kissed many times in his life, all differently, all with their own unique qualities.  Some had been hard and anger filled, some soft and playful, but none had ever left Adam feeling vulnerable.  Tommy’s lips had been delicate, and for that brief moment they’d caressed Adam’s mouth. Every deep dark secret wanted to be seduced to the surface and wrapped up in the man’s warmth.  The heat had immediately begun to soak into Adam’s soul, causing an unfamiliar feeling to bubble just below his skin.

 

It had only been a second, but it was long enough for Adam to know it was a bad idea, and all the reasons why.  He took a minute to compose himself.  He couldn’t go back out into the house where Tommy would most definitely be in the state that he was in.  He knew damn well what was happening, but there was no way in hell he would say it aloud. It confused the hell out of him and scared him shitless.  The thoughts swirling around inside his head were a recipe for disaster, and the lethal kind at that. 

 

Unable to shake the mounting thoughts of Tommy inside his head, he did the one thing he knew that would bring him back to focus.  He called his father.  On the fourth ring, the older man finally picked up. 

 

“Hello.”

 

“Hello, father.”

 

Adam’s father’s hearty laugh echo’d through the phone.  “Why so formal, son?”

 

Adam laughed back.  He always seemed to address his father formally when he was in distress.  It was funny how his dad could read his mood with just one word.  “I was just checking in.  Any new intel?”

 

Normally, Adam wouldn’t call his father to ask for updates.  Once his part of the job was done, it was done.  He’d never had a care as to what happened afterward.  This was a different situation.  Not only did he fuck up, but his fuck up was sitting down the hall, his taste still lingering on Adam’s lips. 

 

“Not much to tell.  You found nothing on your sweep.  We’ve got no new information through the grapevine.  But mark my words, I will find my money.  And when I do, whoever that thieving bastard Vincent gave it to will meet the same fate.  No one steals from me, and no one accepts my stolen property!”

 

“Well, we’ll find it sooner or later,”  Adam said, running his hand through his hair, tightening down at the scalp and pulling at the ends.  “I better go.  I’ll call soon.”

 

Without waiting for his father to bid him farewell, he hung up the phone.  It had just become so much worse than he’d thought it could get.  It hadn’t been his father’s men that came to sweep the house.  Adam had already known this, but his father’s words served as confirmation.  Someone outside the family knew what Vincent was doing.  Someone knew that he was going to be offed and the money had next to no paper trail.  Tommy truly was in danger, far more than he’d ever been in with Adam.  Whichever rival family was looking for that money, if they dug up information that led to Tommy, they would torture him until they were positive he didn’t know where the money was before they slowly bleed his life from his veins. 

 

Not on Adam’s watch.  Adam slipped his phone into his pocket and headed for the door.  He walked in a rush toward where he’d left Tommy, and the room was eerily silent.  Tommy had turned off the t.v.  and disappeared somewhere into the house.  Adam needed to find him, if for nothing other than his own peace of mind. 

 

He looked all through the downstairs.  Tommy was nowhere to be found.  He searched upstairs and still nothing.  He wasn’t in the house.  Maybe he went for a walk on the grounds to clear his head.  Adam did leave him sitting there, probably wondering what the hell had happened.   

 

Adam went outside and began walking all around the property.  Tommy was nowhere.  He began to panic.  Tommy had to be on the property.  Anything outside the walls of their sanctuary wasn’t safe.  Adam thought Tommy knew that.  A small ball of anger unspooled in Adam’s gut.

 

After a few more minutes of searching, Adam went back inside.  Where the hell did Tommy go?  He couldn’t have left.  Even though Adam had told him he was free to go if he chose, he knew how dangerous it would be if he left.  Adam sighed, a rush of anxiety leaving his lungs in a long, drawn out breath.

 

Just as he turned to go look outside again, Tommy came walking through the door.  His head was down, as if he didn’t want anyone to see his face.  Relief flooded Adam’s tense body, until he caught a glimpse of Tommy’s wet red cheeks.  Immediately, he crossed the room until he was standing in front of Tommy.  

 

“You scared me to death.  I thought you’d left.”

 

Tommy lifted his head to look at Adam.  Now it was all too clear as to what Tommy's been doing.  Wherever he’d hidden himself, he’d been letting out a lot of emotion.  His eyes were bloodshot and puffy, his cheeks an angry shade of red.  He studied Adam for several long moments.

 

“You killed my family.”

 

“Yes, I did,”  Adam answered.  They’d already established this on day one, but he knew Tommy was trying to work something out, so he answered everything Tommy said.

 

“You’re an enforcer.  You’re a hitman that works for his father.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“I should be afraid of you.”

 

“Yes, you should,”  Adam answered.  It was the truth.  Everything inside of Tommy should be telling him to run.  Run as fast as his legs could carry him and land right at the doors of the local police.  His flight response should be telling him to get the hell out of there, that Adam was dangerous.  Why Tommy hadn’t done it was beyond what Adam was able to comprehend.  Maybe it was the same feelings that prevented Adam from pulling the trigger.

 

Boring holes through Adam’s icey stare, Tommy asked, “Then why aren’t I?”

 

That Adam couldn’t answer.

 

“I should hate you.”

 

“I…”  Adam trailed off, not really knowing what to say.  Yes, he knew Tommy should hate him, but he also knew there was something strange and unorthodox occurring between the two of them that left him just as confused as Tommy was. 

 

“But I don’t hate you.  Why don’t I hate you?”

 

Before Adam had a chance to reply, Tommy walked past him to the stairs and disappeared to the upper floor.

 

~

 

Adam stood in front of the coffee pot, reading the headlines on his tablet.  It had been long enough since the hit that a missing persons’ report had finally been filed.  Sue’s sister, Veronica, placed the report the previous night.  According to the local news, Vincent’s home had been ransacked, but there was no forced entry and no clues as to where the family may be.  The media being the media, hinted at mob involvement.  It was well known that Vincent was a henchman for Adam’s father.  The local authorities, as well as the FBI, have been watching the family for years but have never gotten enough intelligence to confirm any of their suspicions.  The family was nothing if not thorough.  Every dollar, every endeavor was well accounted for, all legal.  At least on the surface they were legal.

 

The authorities knew, they would have been ignorant not to, that somewhere there was a significant body count.  They’d searched for years, but had never been able to land a solid lead.  Adam wasn’t stupid.  He knew how to cover his own ass.  Every kill had an airtight alibi, Adam always being somewhere other than where he actually had been.  The price was high, but worth every cent. 

 

The media could speculate all they wanted.  There would never be any evidence of the family again.  They would never be able to prove that they were killed.  The bodies would never be found.  It didn’t stop the trash talking news anchor, though.  She had her claws out, ready to blame all the world’s problems on American organized crime.  It would be sadly humorous if Adam would have really thought about it.  

 

However, he had better things to think about.  For instance, the man whose footsteps Adam could hear coming down the hall.  Adam hadn’t seen or heard anything from Tommy since the night before when he’d walked past Adam with tear stained cheeks.  The conversation they’d had was still at the forefront of Adam’s mind.  Tommy didn’t hate Adam, wasn’t afraid of him like he should be.  Not only that, he was visibly unraveled by the whole thing.  Adam couldn’t blame him.  He himself didn’t understand how Tommy could feel anything but hatred for him. If someone had killed Adam’s family, he wouldn’t have been able to control himself.  Someone would have ended up dead. 

 

But not Tommy.  Quiet, sheltered Tommy wasn’t afraid of Adam at all.  He wasn’t afraid for his life, even though they both know that Adam should have killed him that first night.  It was bewildering and created a throb between Adam’s eyes. 

 

The footsteps became louder as Tommy approached and eventually stopped all together.  If Adam turned around, Tommy would be standing there in the entrance, but he was too chicken shit to turn around.  He didn’t want to be confronted with any of the things that occurred the previous night.  He just wanted to ignore the elephant in the room, and pretend nothing at all had happened.

 

Sadly, it wasn’t going to happen for him, because Tommy quickly spoke up.

 

“I think I should leave.”

 

Not what Adam was expecting to hear.  “What?”

 

Tommy didn’t attempt to enter the kitchen.  He stayed in the doorway, his head tilted towards the floor.  “You said I was free to go whenever I choose.”

 

“You are, but why would you want to?”  Adam was perplexed.  Had they not just gone over how dangerous the outside world was to Tommy at the moment?

 

Tommy straightened his shoulders, standing taller as if he were trying to convey his confidence.  If that were the case, he’d been failing miserably.  “Because you killed my family.”

 

“As we’ve already established.”

 

“You’re a murderer.  You’re an evil that will turn on me eventually.”

 

Irritated, Adam blew out a breath.  “I will  _ never _ hurt you.  We’ve been over this.”

 

“But you will.  It’s in your DNA.  You’re a killer.”

 

“You’ll die if you leave these grounds.”

 

“Maybe.  But I’m guaranteed to die if I stay here.”

 

Was he for real?  If nothing else, Adam should have proven that he was never going to hurt Tommy.  Was the guy trying to push Adam’s buttons, because it was working.

 

“I. Will. Not. Hurt. You.”

 

“And I’m supposed to believe an assassin?”

 

Now Adam was angry.  The man wasn’t just pushing buttons, he was fishing for a response. And he was about to get one that no one would have wanted.

 

“I changed my mind.  You are my hostage, and you’re going to start acting like one,”  Adam said, the rage barely veiled in his voice.  

 

“What?”

 

“ _ You _ are essentially my prisoner.  From now on, you do as I say when I say it, and no more trips outside zones.  You leave this property, there will be dire consequences.  Understood?”

 

Tommy grimaced, and gave Adam an angry stare.  “Understood.”

 

It was all Tommy said before turning back on his heel and padding back down the hallway from wherever it was he’d come. 

 

Adam knew he shouldn’t have done it, but there was no way in hell Tommy was leaving.  He’d be dead within milliseconds of the other family finding out about him.  He’d be dead just as quickly when Adam’s family found out.  Adam was the only protection Tommy had. There was no way Adam was going to allow him to be injured by anyone, even his own blood.   For that strange, unknown reason, Adam would die himself before he let anyone harm an inch of Tommy. 

  
  
  
  



	10. Chapter 10

It’d been two weeks since Adam had changed the rules on Tommy and had actually begun treating Tommy like a hostage.  He’d barely seen the man in the two week period.  The only time Tommy even saw a glimpse of Adam’s face was when he’d drop off a meal to Tommy.  At least he had that.  Adam didn’t make him starve; he actually fed him well.  Other than that, Tommy pretty much stayed in his room.  He no longer took walks on the grounds.  He wasn’t allowed to leave the confines of the house without Adam’s permission, and Adam was never to be found.  Not that he’d ask Adam anyway.  

 

He wasn’t even sure that Adam was in the house most of the time.  Yes, he was there for three square meals a day, but Tommy never heard him throughout the house.  On the few times Tommy had ventured out of his room, the house had been eerily silent.  All he was left with was a few books and his mind, and his mind was going a hundred miles per hour.

 

He’d wondered where Adam was and what he was doing.  He’d also wondered why Adam hadn’t come to see him.  Why would he, though?  Tommy was a hostage.  Captors didn’t make friendly conversation with the men and women they took prisoner.  In most cases the only words uttered were those right before the unfortunate souls met their maker.  He didn’t know why he thought Adam would come to visit him.  He’d made it pretty clear that things were going to change.  Tommy had hoped, however, that the strange bond that they’d developed would bring Adam back, and Tommy wouldn’t have to feel lonely anymore. 

 

If he’d really sat down and thought about it, he missed Adam.  Tommy missed Adam.  The thought sent confusion through Tommy.  It rippled through his mind and set his heart to flutter.  For whatever reason, he enjoyed spending time with Adam.  It was as if they were friends.  Again, it was strange and completely unbelievable, but it was true, and Tommy missed it.

 

The most confusing of all was the kiss that his mind wouldn’t put to rest.  He’d kissed Adam, and he didn’t know why.  He wasn’t angry and caught in the moment.  Their back and forth about Tommy’s safety and the fact that Tommy trusted Adam with an unwavering confidence, still had his head spinning.  Why did he do it?  Why did he trust Adam?  How did he know Adam wasn’t going to hurt him?  Why was he questioning any of these things at all?  It didn’t make sense.  The only thing that Tommy knew was that he didn’t know what was going on in his head and in his heart.  He had a soft spot for his captor.

 

Speaking of his captor, another thing had changed in the time since Tommy was stripped of his freedom.  He hadn’t heard Adam’s screams in the night.  He didn’t know what Adam was dreaming about, but Tommy knew enough to know it wasn’t any ordinary dream.  It was a memory manifested in his mind, that only came out at night to torture him.  

 

His cries were always pained, and Adam never quite knew where he was when he’d finally wake up.  He’d been disoriented, as if wherever he’d been in his sleep followed him over into his consciousness.  For that peculiar reason, Tommy missed Adam. He also felt sympathy for the man.  He wanted to comfort him, but had no idea how.  He’d ended up in Adam’s bed, the closeness and warmth of a body helping to calm Adam’s restless sleep.  He’d only meant to stay until Adam calmed, but ended up falling asleep and waking to two ocean blue eyes staring back at him.  It was uncomfortable, to say the least, but Adam never mentioned it as if it had never happened. 

 

~

 

Around two in the afternoon, there was a knock on Tommy’s door.  There was only one person other than himself that knew he was being held in Adam’s house, so he crossed the room and opened the door.  Adam stood looking as put together as usual.  Tommy thought to himself that he’d never seen Adam not be put together and properly dressed.  He himself was wearing oversized pajama pants with a wrinkled t-shirt.

 

“Sorry to bother you,”  Adam said in a formal voice.

 

Since the night Tommy tried to leave, Adam has been nothing short of formal.  His voice was clipped, his personality as flat as an out of tune piano.

 

“You don’t have to apologize.  This is your house.  I’m your prisoner.”  Tommy’s words were clipped and emotionless, even though he had multiple emotions trying to claw their way to the surface and out from between Tommy’s sealed lips. 

 

Adam answered in his same monotone voice.  “I am having dinner downstairs in an hour and would like you to join me.”

 

“Do I have a choice?”

 

“You always have a choice,”  Adam said, using the same words he’d told Tommy two weeks ago before the kiss that changed the dynamic of their relationship.

 

“Then I guess the answer is no.  I’ll eat up here”

 

“I don’t remember asking.”

 

“I guess I don’t have a choice, do I?”  Tommy was tired of the back and forth already.  It was exhausting, and Tommy was in no mood for a game of cat and mouse. 

 

Adam’s hard exterior softened, and his face almost looked pleading.  “Please?”

 

“No,”  Tommy said, before turning and walking toward the bathroom.

 

Adam let out a huff and turned himself toward the door.  “Fine!  Have it your way.”  

 

Adam slammed the door behind him.  Tommy didn’t see Adam for another four days when he heard the familiar scream coming from the downstairs guest room. 

 

~

 

“Adam, wake up please,”  Tommy said quietly to the whimpering man.  He leaned over Adam, who was curled up in the fetal position, and wrapped an arm around his waist.  The other hand was gently brushing the sweat-soaked, tangled hair out of Adam’s face.  Tonight’s dream seemed to be more intense than the others Tommy had witnessed.  Adam was hot to the touch, warm almost as if he’d had a fever.  Goose bumps covered his skin even with the blankets covering most or his body. 

 

He was mumbling more than he’d been as well.  Tommy couldn’t make out a lot, but a few words stuck out amongst the garbled sounds.  Words like “stop,” “please don’t,” “I’m telling the truth” were clear as day.  Someone at some time in Adam’s like hurt him in some way, and whatever it was must have been horrible. That same bizarre, visceral emotion he had for Adam had Tommy leaning the rest of the way and placing his head on Adam’s shoulder.

 

He held onto Adam for quite awhile, before Adam finally started to stir.  It wasn’t the usual, when he woke up in a panic.  It was slow.  He’d calmed down in the time Tommy had been practically cradling Adam in his arms.  He turned his head towards Tommy and lazily opened his eyes.

 

It took a moment to focus, but when he did, Tommy saw something he didn’t expect to see.  Trust.  He was looking at Tommy with vulnerable eyes that silently told Tommy that Adam, too, trusted in something and someone he didn’t understand. It was both terrifying and bizarre. It was an anomaly that neither man understood, but couldn’t ignore.  

 

“What are you doing here?”  Adam asked, even though Tommy could see it in his actions and hear it in the tone of his voice.

 

“You were having a nightmare.”

 

Adam tried to sit up but failed.  Tommy was still hovering over him, staring down at him with concerned eyes.  “I’m fine.  You can go now.”

 

“You’re not fine,”  Tommy said, pointing to his sweaty and clammy skin.  The goose bumps were still visible on his skin.  “You look like you have a fever, and you feel like you have one too.”

 

Though Adam had been visibly agitated and physical in his sleep, Tommy wasn’t convinced the heated skin was just from the dream.  

 

“I’m fine.  Really.”

 

Tommy touched Adam’s forehead with his palm.  Adam jumped like a scared cat, but relaxed almost instantly.  “You’re burning up.  Do you feel sick?”

 

This time Adam was able to sit up.  He scooted until his back was against the headboard.  He rolled his neck and groaned with the movement.  “Actually I feel like someone fed me a bottle of ipecac.”

 

“Ipecac?”

 

“You’ve never heard of Ipecac?  Like in the syrup.”

 

“Um...should I?”  Tommy asked.  He wondered if it were some kind of liquid Adam’s type of people used to torture someone.  

 

Adam was feeling well enough to roll his eyes at Tommy’s naivete. “Makes you violently throw up.”

 

“Sounds awful,”  Tommy said, glad he’d never heard of the stuff before.  “Does that mean you’re going to throw up?  I just want to tell you upfront that I don’t handle vomit very well.”  Tommy sounded like he was nervous at the possibility that Adam may throw up.

 

“I think I’m okay for now.  I’m freezing.”

 

“Here.  Lie back down and get under the blankets,”  Tommy said as he motioned for Adam to lie flat.  He pulled the covers up the Adam’s chin.  “I’ll go get you a cool washcloth to put on your head, as well as something to break that fever.”  Tommy got up and left the room quietly.

 

Never in a million years did he envision himself taking care of a man that was responsible for the death of his family and the loss of his freedom.  Before he’d walked in on Adam hovering over the bodies of his family, he’d lived a relatively sheltered life.  He’d known people like Adam existed, but in his mind it was in a far away place that would never happen in his world.  The bubble he’d lived in had been broken open that night, along with everything he’d thought he’d known.

 

He mourned the loss of the simple and peaceful life he’d had just weeks ago.  He’d made a nice little life for himself, and he’d been happy.  Lonely, but happy.  Now?  Now he felt lonely within the confines of his room.  Happiness was a distant memory.  However, he’d felt happy during the times that he’d spent with Adam, and the loneliness had been nowhere to be found.  He wanted to understand it, but there was no way he’d ever utter the way he’d been feeling to Adam.  Not now, not ever.  It was bad enough he was having the mixed feelings at all.

 

Tommy put a washcloth under the faucet until it was completely soaked through.  He rung out the excess water and returned to Adam’s bedside.  Adam looked green around the gills and none too contented.  He looked miserable.  Tommy placed the washcloth from temple to temple.  Adam let out a soft moan of relief.

 

“I feel better already,”  Adam said.  Tommy doubted very much that Adam felt better at all, but he still gave Adam a reassuring smile. 

 

“Good.”  Tommy stood and turned to leave.  He needed to go back to his room to clear his head.  He needed to fight the urge to take care of Adam.  Adam shouldn’t be Tommy’s concern, but he’d opened up a need within Tommy that wouldn’t allow him to walk away.  He needed the space to get his head back in order. 

 

“Wait.”

 

Tommy stopped in his tracks and turned toward Adam.  He saw an almost desperate set to his features, an uncertainty that only came from fear.  Fear of another dream, maybe, or was it something else?  A part of Tommy, the part that he was still trying to understand, hoped it was something else.  

 

“Stay?”  Adam said, more of a question in his tone than a statement. 

 

Tommy looked confused.  It’d been two and a half weeks of avoidance.  Adam had stayed away to the point that Tommy secretly went in search for him for more nights than he’d care to admit.  

 

That simple fact grounded Tommy back into the reality of the situation.  Adam had deemed Tommy a captive.  There was nothing that Tommy could say that would change that one simple fact.  “Why?  We have nothing to say to each other.”

 

“There’s plenty to say.  Stay.  Let’s talk. Please?”

 

The look on Adam’s face was too much for Tommy to fight.  For whatever reason, Adam seemed to need Tommy.  Even if it was only for a night, Tommy felt the want and the obligation to stay with the ill man.  He walked back across the room, and sat in the chair by the window.  The moonlight was trying to enter through the frosted window, but it was stopped in it’s tracks by the artificial light of the lamp.

 

There was a long pause in conversation before Tommy finally spoke first.  “So, what do we talk about?  Your profession, your father, the fact that you kill people for a living?  How about we talk about that?”

 

“I want to talk about you.”

 

That threw Tommy off his “be a dick” game.  He was being a smart ass on purpose.  If he kept the conversation neutral or on heightened nerves, he stood a chance at getting out of that room faster, before things got even more complicated. 

 

“There’s nothing to tell.”

 

“Tommy, humor me?  I feel like shit.  You’re twenty-two years old.  I know you’ve got some stories and memories tucked away.  Share them with me?”

 

He wanted to.  That deep part of his brain that was telling him that Adam was safe, and he was different, wanted nothing more than to tell Adam his embarrassing stories and deep dark secrets.  The rational part of his brain told him not to.  Adam was a captor.  The less he said the better.

 

But unable to follow the reasonable part of his mind, he said, “What do you want to know?”

 

“Everything.”

 

Tommy thought for a moment.  He needed to tell Adam something.  For his own piece of mind,  he needed to tell Adam something true, but not over revealing.  He knew just the story.

 

“Sit back.  Let me tell you the story of a man named Tommy.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait on comment replies. I promise I'll do better. :)

They’d talked for hours well into the night.  It’d started with a small story.  A tale of a teenage Tommy, tiny sort of dorky Tommy, and the first time he’d snuck out of his house.  He’d been fourteen, a freshman in high school.  He hadn’t had a lot of friends through his younger years, and with high school came new faces, new opportunities socially.  He’d met a junior in his PE class and they’d immediately clicked.  Tommy never knew his real name, instead he went by the name Bone.  Hell, maybe it was his real name, but Tommy had his doubts.  The guy was big, tough, and didn’t take any shit from anyone.  It was odd that he’d taken such a liking to Tommy.  They’d been polar opposites, but he had, and Tommy had enjoyed the friendship. 

 

About halfway through the semester, Bone had finally asked Tommy if he’d wanted to hang out over the weekend.  Up to that point, their friendship had been within the confines of gym class.  Tommy was excited to hang out, but had been grounded.  Bone had told him to just sneak out.  Tommy was terrified of the idea. His dad would have killed him if he’d found out, but it also thrilled him.  So, late Saturday night, after his mom had gone to bed, Tommy had climbed out his bedroom window and met Bone a block away. Bone explained that they were going to a party and he’d had someone he’d wanted Tommy to meet.

 

The prospect of meeting new people scared the shit out of teenage Tommy, but he’d agreed.  At the party, Bone convinced him to drink a beer, just one that turned into two which turned into too many to count.  When he’d been well beyond intoxicated, Bone introduced Tommy to his sister.  Tiny, timid, cute, little Sophia.  Tommy had seen her around school before, but had never known she was Bone’s little sister.  

 

Bone pushed the two together, going on and on about how good they would be together.  Sophia looked terrified, but at the same time hopeful.  Too drunk to know what he was saying, Tommy blurted out that he didn’t like girls.  He didn’t remember much from that night, but he remembered the look on everyone’s faces that were close enough to hear, and little Sophia came to his defense every day for the next four years. 

 

“So you’re still friends?”  Adam asked, laying on his side, looking up at Tommy who was sitting up next to him. 

 

“Yes.  Best friends.  She’s the best thing that ever happened to me.  Sometimes I wish I could be more to her.  I even tried once.”

 

Adam looked at Tommy with understanding.  “I tried that once.  It didn’t get far.”

 

Tommy smiled and got up from the bed.  “I should go.”

 

Adam sat up.  “No!  Please.”

 

Tommy sighed and sat back down.  “What next?”

 

“Anything.  Just keep talking, please.”

 

Many stories flowed from Tommy’s lips in the proceeding hours.  He talked about his mother, his father, his friends.  He talked about his first job, which was at a local amusement park.  He’d spent his summer ushering visitors onto rides while he read the rules, all under a backing sun that had him the color of a lobster.  Adam laughed and commented pale skin needing SPF Vampire to be out in the sun.  He’d talked about being teased for being gay, even though he’d never come out until after high school was over. 

 

It wasn’t until Tommy began talking about college that things took a serious turn.  A few short weeks ago, Tommy had been a college student.  Close to graduation and ready to start his adult life.  Adam asked what his major was, and immediately regretted the question. 

 

“It doesn’t matter now, does it?”  Tommy asked, sadness oozing from his voice.

 

“I’m sorry, Tommy.  This is my fault.”

 

“Because you didn’t kill me?”  Tommy couldn’t help but give a defeated laugh. 

 

“No,”  Adam said with slight aggravation in his tone.  “I will never be sorry that I didn’t kill you.  I’m sorry you had to get tangled up in this. If you’d only shown up a day later…”  Adam trailed off. 

 

“But I didn’t, did I?”  Tommy slid down on the bed until he was laying flat on his back.  “And now there’s no going back for me.”

 

They lay in silence for quite some time, Tommy on his back, looking up at the ceiling, Adam on his side, looking at Tommy.   They’d reached an impasse.  Tommy was out of stories to tell, and Adam hadn’t offered up any of his own.  He’d trusted Adam with a hell of a lot of information, information that he’d had no intention of giving when the whole conversation had started.  But he had, and now Tommy felt an entirely new level of vulnerability.  It was only fair that Adam told stories of his own. 

 

“Your turn.”  Tommy said, turning his head to face Adam.

 

“My turn what?”

 

“I know nothing about you other than your mother dying and that you’re a killer. Tell me something.”

 

“What do you want to know?”

 

“Tell me about growing up mafia?”

 

Adam laughed.  “That’ll take all night.”

 

“I have all night.”

 

Adam sat up and motioned for Tommy to sit up, too.  Tommy could tell that Adam still didn’t feel well. His face was pale and his eyes shadowed. 

 

“Lay back down.”

 

“I’m fine,”  Adam said, again motioning for Tommy to sit up and join him.  Tommy sat up, and turned his body to show he was ready to listen. 

 

“Ok.  Where to start?  I guess since you started with high school, I’ll start there too.  I didn’t go to high school, per say.  For the most part I was home schooled.”

 

“That sounds boring.”

 

“It was, but it was necessary.  My family has many enemies, and what better target than an awkward teenage boy.  I did my lessons, studied hard.  I wanted to work for my father, and I knew he was a cut throat businessman.  I wanted to follow in his footsteps.  I begged him to go to an actual school my last year.  We’d argued about it, but he finally let me go.  It was a private school that only the rich attended.  There were only about 50 kids in the entire school, but I didn’t complain.”

 

“Your first taste of freedom,”  Tommy said, smiling.  His smile faltered as soon as he’d seen the look on Adam’s face.

 

“Not exactly.  High school only lasted about six weeks for me.  I finished at home.”  

 

The look on Adam’s face fueled Tommy’s next words,  “Those six weeks have something to do with your nightmares, don’t they?”

 

Adam’s eyes grew wide with shock.  Tommy wasn’t sure if it was shock that Tommy so quickly put the connection together, or shocked that he’d asked the question at all. 

 

“I don’t want to talk about that,”  Adam deadpanned.  His eyes held so much pain, it broke a piece of Tommy’s heart. 

 

“Tell me what happened?”

 

“No.”

 

Tommy reached over and brushed a stray hair from Adam’s eyes.  “You can trust me.”

Adam could trust Tommy.  He’d shown it with every gesture and decision along the way.  He hadn’t run; he hadn’t called the police. He’d done nothing that he should have, and everything that this man had compelled him to do. 

 

They sat silent and still for what felt like hours, but was only a few moments.  The wheels in Adam’s head were visibly moving, grinding the gears as each piece fought for dominance.

 

“I do, ya know...trust you,”  Adam said, showing what side of the fight had won.  “I just can’t talk about it.  I’m sorry.”

 

Tommy didn't push.  He simply nodded.  He understood what it was like to hold secrets.  He’d done it for years as a teenager and was doing it now, as well.  His heart and head were keeping secrets from each other, and no matter what side let the truth out first, there would be hell to pay.  

 

He didn’t want to deal with the future during the present moment.  Whatever it was that had been driving his compulsion towards Adam, it was happy and content and didn’t want to think about tomorrow.  It only wanted to think about the now and what the look in Adam’s eyes told of his life.

 

“Criminal Justice,”  Tommy said as he looked back up at the ceiling. 

 

“What?”  Adam asked, rolling over so he too was looking up. 

 

“My major.  It was Criminal Justice.”

“You wanted to be a cop?”  Adam asked with a brow cocked in question.

 

“FBI actually.”

 

“Interesting,”  Adam said with a slight chuckle.  “Interesting, indeed.”

 

~

 

There was no more talk of past lives the next day, or the day after that.  Several weeks passed, and the two men acted as if they were old acquaintances, a little more than strangers, but not quite friends, all while skirting around the unexplainable feelings that they had for each other.  There was no denying that it was there, but neither would address it.

 

They’d eaten almost every meal together.  The only time Tommy ate alone was when Adam stepped out for family business.  That equaled out to about three meals a week. On more than one occasion, Tommy heard Adam on the phone with whom he’d assumed was Adam’s father.  Adam would call to check in with progress on tracking down the money his father had stolen, and it always progressed into Adam explaining away his absence for the past two months.  His dad knew something was amiss, but never demanded answers or sent people looking for him. 

 

There were two times that Adam left to take care of “family business” and came home blotched with red. It brought back the memories of that night, but it also stirred something inside of him that urged him to take care of Adam.  The first time he tried to help, Adam shut the bathroom door in his face.  The second time, Tommy was more persistent. He convinced Adam to let him help the other man clean himself up.  Adam just stood and stared, in a dumbfounded trance-like gaze, at Tommy as he gently cleaned the blood off of Adam’s face and hands. 

 

The nightmares seemed to have stopped.  Only once was Tommy woken up in the middle of the night to Adam’s screams.  However, it wasn’t from a nightmare.  Adam burned himself with a bag of microwave popcorn that he’d made when he couldn’t sleep.  Tommy nursed Adam’s wound, then sat up half the night watching movies while sharing a bag of slightly burnt popcorn. 

 

Tommy had fallen into a routine, a life that he was content living.  He knew that he would never be free, not really.  From the moment Adam had hesitated and not pulled the trigger, Tommy’s had a target on his back. It would be there until the day he died.  Sooner or later, someone in Adam’s family would learn of his existence and come for him.  He’d be on the run forever, looking over his shoulder, if he left the protection Adam offered.  He’d be a fool to turn it down, because he truly believed Adam would protect him. With that thought, he believed he could be happy, even if it was in hiding. 

 

Like it had the night he’d walked in on Adam in his father’s house, Tommy’s life changed in the blink of an eye.  Adam, who’d been gone for several hours on family business, barged through the door looking like he’d just run the Boston Marathon.  His chest was heaving, and his hair was sweat covered and in disarray.  Tommy immediately shot to his feet and crossed to where Adam was standing. 

 

“What the hell happened to you?”  Tommy asked concerned. 

 

“They found the money.”

 

“Where was it?”  By the look on Adam’s face he couldn’t tell if that was a good thing or a bad.

 

“In an account.  Offshore.”

 

“Okay.  That’s good right?  They can get the money back. All is well?”

 

“Not even close,”  Adam said, his voice causing the hairs on the back of Tommy’s neck to stand and his skin to heat. 

 

“What aren’t you telling me?”

 

Adam looked Tommy in the eyes, his normally a bright blue, now a darkened, stormy hue. “The account was is your name.”

 

All the color drained from Tommy’s face in an instant, and his knees gave out.  His father had put the stolen money in a bank account under Tommy’s name.  Adam’s family knew his identity, and would be coming for him. It didn’t matter that he had no knowledge of the money or the theft.  It was all the same for people like Adam’s father.  Tommy was a dead man walking. 

 

One his knees in the middle of the entryway, Tommy put his head in his hands and screamed.  In an instant two strong arms curled around his shaking body.  Adam’s words were the last thing Tommy heard before his mind succumbed to the stress of Adam’s revelation. 

 

“They’ll never touch you.  I’ll never let them touch you.  You’re mine, and they’re dead men if they think I’ll ever give you up.”


	12. Chapter 12

****

Adam sat in the middle of the entryway, cradling an unconscious Tommy in his arms.  It wasn’t the first time he’d passed out from extreme stress.  If it were anything like the last two times, he’d be out for a while.  Adam had contemplated picking Tommy up and carrying him to the bedroom, but something had stopped him.  So instead, he’d situated himself on the floor and brought Tommy’s head down into his lap.

 

Stroking a hand through Tommy’s soft hair, Adam watched him.  The curve of Tommy’s jaw, the flutter of his lashes, the soft intake of breath, they were all things that Adam had stored in his mind and thought about constantly.  They were also the features he’d been ordered to kill.  No more than an hour after Adam’s father’s men had found the bank account, he’d called Adam and put out the hit.  Once his father’s men located Tommy, Adam was to go in and “finish him.”

 

He didn’t know how long he would be able to keep Tommy hidden or safe.  Not only was his father looking for Tommy, but whoever knew about the money would also be after him.  Adam had spent much time trying to figure out who it was behind the masks.  It could have been men  from another family, but his gut was telling him it was an inside job.  There was a rogue family member, and Adam had no idea who it could be.  

 

At least with Tommy under his roof, he could keep him safe until he figured out what to do. He looked down at the man in his arms and smiled.  Tommy was beautiful awake, but when asleep, he looked like an angel.  His skin looked almost translucent, ethereal.  It made Adam want to touch Tommy.  He wanted to feel Tommy’s warm skin under his fingertips.  He wanted to see what he tasted like, what he sounded like. 

 

“I told you I’d never hurt you,”  Adam whispered.  He’d told Tommy this at least a hundred times since that fateful night, and he wasn’t sure Tommy truly believed him.  “Maybe this will prove it.”

 

Tommy began to stir.  He’d wake up soon, and Adam would have to tell him the truth.  He’d thrown Tommy’s life into uncertainty, the least he could do was keep him informed and reassure him that he was safe. 

 

It was strange. With Tommy unconscious in his arms, Adam felt like he had so much to say, things he’d wanted to say from almost the minute their eyes met, but never found the right time to say them.  With Tommy passed out in his lap, Adam felt safety in his words. 

 

“I don’t know why I feel this way about you.  I don’t know you, and you should hate me for what I’ve done to you.  But you don’t.  And I have this gut twisting need to keep you safe.  It drives me mad.  I know what I should do, what I should have done, but I can’t.  Jesus, I think I may have fucked up and fallen in love with you.”

 

Tommy’s eyes fluttered open.  Whether it was from embarrassment or shock, whatever revelation that was on the tip of Adam’s tongue retreated back into the recesses of his mind.  He’d forgotten what he’d been about to say, all focus was on Tommy’s groggy eyes. 

 

“What happened?”  Tommy asked, his voice gravel as it reached Adam’s ears. 

 

“You passed out.”

 

After a few minutes of silence while Tommy readjusted to his surroundings, he sat up and sat beside Adam, facing the man with worried eyes.  “What are we gonna do?  I’m a dead man walking.”

 

“No one is going to hurt you, Tommy.”

 

“You can’t promise that.”

 

“Yes, I can.”

 

Tommy shook his head back and forth.  He tried to remain calm, but the panic was thick in his eyes. “How?  You have no idea who they are sending after me?  They could be on their way here right now.”

 

“No one is on their way here.”

 

“There’s no way for you to know tha-”  Adam cut Tommy off. 

 

“No one but my father knows about this location.  It’s a family safe house, but it’s also my safe house.  No one comes here but me.”

 

Tommy seemed to relax marginally.  “Ok, but there’s still a hit, isn’t there?”

 

Adam answered calmly.  “Yes. But it will never be executed.”

 

Tommy looked at Adam with scared eyes.  “You can’t possibly know that.”

 

Looking back into Tommy’s eyes, he said, “Yes I can, because I’m the executioner.”

 

Tommy’s eyes grew wide.  “They ordered you to kill me?”  Adam could see the muscles in Tommy’s jaw clenching and releasing over and over. 

 

“Only if we found you.”  

 

Adam’s answer brought Tommy no comfort.  Tommy’s head fell to his hands, and he began to laugh a low, guttural laugh. 

 

“I really don’t see what there is about this situation that is laugh worthy,”  Adam said, lifting Tommy’s head until he was looking up into Adam’s eyes again. 

 

“It’s just ironic. I never even knew my father had money, much less stolen money, and I’m the one that has to pay the price for it.”

 

“You’ll never pay the price for it, Tommy.  I won’t allow it”

 

“I’m already paying the price. Whether I’m dead, or trapped in hiding, I’ll always be paying for it.”

 

With those words, Tommy lifted himself from the floor and exited the entry.  Adam heard faint footsteps as Tommy ascended the stairs, going to his room.  It was a lot of information to take in, and the man needed time to process it.  Adam wondered exactly what Tommy would be processing: the fact that there was a price on his head, or the fact that Adam confessed that somewhere during their strange circumstance, Adam had fallen in love. 

 

~

 

If Tommy had heard Adam’s confession, he certainly didn’t show that he had.  Several hours after the incident in the entry, Tommy emerged from his room as if nothing had happened.  The panic was gone, but he did want to talk, so Adam gave him the answers Tommy was looking for the best he could. 

 

“You’re the enforcer, Adam.  What happens if they do find me?”  Tommy asked calmly as he sipped a steaming cup of chamomile tea.  Adam had insisted he have something relaxing while they had the conversation.

 

“First, they won’t find you,”  Adam said.  Tommy tried to interject, but Adam put his hand up stopping Tommy before he began.  “Second, if they do find you, they find me, too.  We’ll cross that bridge when we get there, because I honestly don’t know what they’ll do.”

 

“That’s reassuring.”

 

“It’s the truth.  I know in my gut that there’s a dishonest, plotting son of a bitch under my father’s thumb.  This feels like it’s coming from the inside.”

 

“There’s no way to know for sure though, is there?”  Tommy asked.  Adam could tell by the look in his eyes that Tommy was scared, as he should have been.  His life was on the line, and any move they made couldn’t very well be his demise. 

 

“Not without investigation and patience.  I will find out who it is.”

 

“Patience isn’t really something we have time for, Adam.  They’ll eventually find me, and then what?”

 

“Then I protect you.”

 

“Or you kill me,”  Tommy said with no heat in his voice, but Adam sensed a hint of a question behind Tommy’s words. 

 

As if Adam would ever change his mind and take Tommy out.  As strange and unexplainable as it was, Adam loved Tommy.  Maybe it was love at first sight.  Adam didn’t necessarily believe that to be real, but he was at a loss for any other explanation for the feelings that he’d developed almost instantly for Tommy.  The immediate pull and the need to protect him at all costs.  

 

Adam leaned into Tommy, taking Tommy’s face into his hands.  He looked the other man in the eyes and with conviction said, “I will  _ never  _ hurt you.”

 

“I believe you,”  Tommy said in almost a whisper.  He stared back into Adam’s eyes, and Adam could almost see the turmoil in them.  It was as if that glimmer of life that Adam had seen in them on more than one occasion had fizzled out, and been replaced by dull resignation. 

 

The urge to lean in and kiss Tommy was unbearable.  It would have been so easy.  Three inches was all it would take to reach Tommy’s soft, inviting mouth.  He sensed that Tommy wanted it as well, with the way his chest had been rising and falling, and the fact that he’d relaxed and his eyelids had fallen to half mast.  So simple, so wanted, but still Adam pulled away.  

 

Their situation and feeling for each other were complicated to say the least.  Adam may have admitted that he was in love with Tommy, but as far as he knew, Tommy hadn’t heard the confession, and if he had, he wasn’t speaking of it, which meant one of two things.  Tommy was either hiding the fact that he’d heard Adam, or the feelings weren’t mutual.  Adam didn’t want to act on a one sided emotion and make things more strained than they were already going to be. 

 

So instead, he leaned back into his chair and silently sipped his own tea.  They stayed in that silence for quite some time, letting all the events of the day sink in.  It would be a trying time to say the least.  It would test not only Tommy’s trust for Adam, but Adam’s loyalty to his family.  He was already committing an unforgivable crime by harboring a target.  He could only imagine what would happen when his father found out, or worse, the rogue that was after the stolen money.  

 

If any one of the men found out about Tommy, they would torture him until he told them where the money was.  Since Tommy had no idea, his death would be slow and painful.  Adam knew that kind of pain, and he silently vowed that if anyone so much as left the slightest bruise on Tommy’s pale skin, he’d make them wish they had never been born. 

 

On top of what they’d do to Tommy, Adam knew what the price was for turning your back on the family.  The events that had led to his position as enforcer would be done again, but worse.

 

Adam shook the thoughts from his mind.  If he thought about the past too long, in combination with the idea of Tommy being tortured to death, he’d have more nightmares.  He’d been having them more frequently since Tommy came along, no doubt the danger they were both in triggering the long dormant images that shaped who Adam had become. 

 

“It’s been a long day.  You should go upstairs.  Run a bath or something. You deserve a few moments of peace after everything that’s happened to you.”

 

Tommy looked down into his empty mug.  “I don’t think I’ll ever have peace again.”

 

“You will.”

 

In response Tommy gave Adam a half hearted chuckle which clearly meant “whatever you say.”

 

Adam reached out to place his hand on top of the hand Tommy had lowered to his knee.  “I mean it, Tommy.  If I have to kill every last one of those fuckers, I will.”

 

“Why?  Why would you do that for me?  I’m no one.”

 

“That’s not true,”  Adam rebuttled.  “You’re important.”

 

Tommy looked at Adam quizzically.  There was confusion in those brown eyes, and a hint of curiosity.  “Why would I be important?  You don’t even know me.”

 

Adam looked at Tommy, really looked at him.  His eyes were waiting for an answer.  Adam wanted to give that answer.  He wanted to tell Tommy everything he was feeling, but couldn’t bring himself to do it.  Admitting it would make it real, and Adam wasn’t ready for that, and Tommy might never be.  

 

“You just are, okay?”  Adam left it at that.

 

Waiting for more, but soon realizing he wasn’t going to get any more from Adam, Tommy resigned and gave Adam a quiet “okay.”

 

Tommy got up from the chair and pushed it under the table. He put his empty cup in the sink.  “I’ll go take that bath now.”

 

“Try to relax, okay?”  Adam gave Tommy an almost timid smile. 

 

“It’s hard not to relax in that giant tub of yours.”  Tommy returned Adam’s smile with a small one of his own.  

 

“I’ll see you later?”  Adam asked as if he wasn’t sure Tommy would want to see him again. 

 

“Yeah.  Good night, Adam,”  Tommy said, turning and heading for the door.  As he reached the entry to the kitchen, Tommy turned and faced Adam.  

 

“I think I fucked up, too,”  Tommy said, before turning on his heel and heading for the stairs. 

  
  



	13. Chapter 13

Tommy had been lying in the tub so long the water had turned cold.  He barely noticed, however.  All the events of the day had bombarded his mind and created tsunami of information that left him both terrified and hopeful.

 

Adam’s family had found out about him.  His father had left a paper trail after all.  How stupid to set up an account for stolen money with the name of the person you’d kept hidden for twenty-two years.  Tommy had thought a lot about his father in the weeks following his death and the revelations of who he really was.  He’d hidden every aspect of his life from Tommy.  Every last detail of his life with Adam’s family had been explained by Adam, and Tommy and Adam had been none the wiser.  The more he thought about it, the more he felt relieved that he’d never known that side of him.  The father Tommy had known was everything a father should have been.  He used that information to convince himself that his father had kept him a secret to protect him from his other life.  Adam had explained in limited detail what being in the family truly meant, and the father Tommy had known would never have wanted that for him.   He’d never know for certain, but believing it allowed Tommy to mourn his father, his sister, and step mother. 

 

However, the man had made a fatal error.  One that Tommy was paying for.  Whoever was after him, whether it be Adam’s family, one of the rival families, or a rogue, Tommy was being hunted.  He believed Adam when he’d promised to keep him safe.  The strange dynamic that was their relationship had allowed Tommy to put his faith in Adam.

 

Hell, what was their relationship?  Tommy hadn’t let on, but he’d been awake when Adam had been talking to him.  It was that sort of half consciousness that occurred right as he was waking up, but he’d been awake.  He’d heard Adam again promise to never hurt him.  He’d also heard Adam say all the things that Tommy had already known.  Adam didn’t know Tommy.  Tommy should hate him.  As Adam had an extreme need to protect Tommy, Tommy had deep rooted want to be protected.

 

He’d also heard Adam confessing to falling in love with him.  He’d been shocked by the admission.  He’d known from the beginning that Adam was drawn to him.  Hell, Tommy was drawn to Adam, even at the very moment they’d met, with Tommy’s family lifeless at his feet.  It was confusing, scary, and exhilarating all at once.  Tommy hadn’t even considered that it was anything other than physical attraction until he’d heard the words roll from Adam’s tongue.  

 

After Tommy had retreated to his room, Adam’s room, surrounded by all of Adam’s things, he’d had the epiphany that he, too, had fallen for Adam.  He fell hard.  Adam was his protector, his white knight, and with every emotion that rushed through Tommy’s mind, he felt it.  Love.  There was no other explanation.   

 

He’d thrown Adam’s words back at him as he’d left the room again, heading upstairs to take his long, hot bath at Adam’s suggestion.  He sat in his now ice cold bath and wondered if Adam had caught his confession.  He hadn’t hung around to see. 

 

He stood from the tub, and pulled the plug with his foot while he wrapped a large, fluffy towel around his waist.  The tub made a whooshing, draining sound.  With the water that swirled down the pipes, Tommy’s fear went with it.  He trusted Adam.  He believed him and believed in him.  Come hell or high water, Adam would find a way to keep Tommy alive and keep him safe. 

 

After shaving and brushing his teeth, Tommy headed for the bed.  He was exhausted and needed to recharge for the day ahead.  He felt it.  Things were going to be different come tomorrow.  Different how, he didn’t know, but things were going to change.

 

~

 

A scream woke Tommy up from a very deep sleep.  It was familiar to him now, Adam screaming in the night.  He still hadn’t told Tommy what was in the nightmares, but Tommy knew it was something real.  Something that had happened to Adam and haunted him from that moment on.  Every night that it happened, it was the same.  Adam would scream, Tommy would go down to the guest room and wake Adam up.  He was less disoriented upon awakening than he was at the beginning.  He’d recognize Tommy almost immediately and calm down quickly.  Tommy would then stay with Adam until he fell back asleep.  Sometimes they would talk.  Sometimes they would just lay in silence, with Tommy close enough for Adam to have the comfort of touch. 

 

Once Adam was asleep, Tommy would sit for a while and watch him before he’d head back to his own room, Adam’s room.  He would watch the rhythmic rise and fall of Adam’s chest as he breathed.  He would listen to the soft sounds of contentment and sometimes the sad whimpers that came with some unknown image.  Sometimes he’d fall asleep next to Adam, but he tried to always make it back to his own bed to avoid any awkwardness in the morning.

 

Until now.  Before he’d heard Adam’s scream, he’d had a hard time falling asleep.  All he could think about was Adam’s confession and his own similar feelings.  A part of him wanted to jump out of bed and go to Adam.  Uninvited in the middle of the night, he wanted to creep into Adam’s room and curl up beside him.  He’d been too afraid.  Though Adam had confessed his feelings for Tommy, he’d done it while he thought Tommy was unconscious.  Whether he felt that way or not, he might not welcome Tommy into his arms so easily.

 

Tommy had gotten to his feet and was about to make the journey to the guest bedroom, but noticed the screaming had stopped.  He waited and listened.  When several minutes went by with no more sound, he crawled back into bed.  Normally Adam continued to scream until Tommy woke him up.  Since it had stopped, Tommy figured Adam either woke up on his own, or the dream took a turn out of nightmares and back into something tolerable. 

 

Settling back down into the covers, Tommy curled up on his side and closed his eyes.  Just as he was succumbing to sleep, he heard his door crash open.  His heart leaped out of his chest as he quickly sat up and turned on the lamp beside the bed.  Adam stood in the door, shirtless and breathing hard.  He was breathing as if he’d just run a marathon, and looked disheveled and distressed.

 

“Adam, are you okay?”  Tommy asked, his concern growing by the second as Adam began inching his way towards Tommy.  The look in Adam’s eyes was alarming.  Tommy’s skin began to prickle with uncertainty.  Had Adam decided to hurt him after all?  Had he decided that his family meant more than some random kid who was in the wrong place at the wrong time?  

 

His eyes looked frantic.  Tommy found himself holding his breath with every move that Adam made, closer and closer, until his knees hit the edge of the bed.  Tommy looked up and locked gazes with Adam.  

 

“Did you mean it?”  Adam asked, eyes unmoving as he waited for Tommy’s answer.

 

“Mean what?”  Tommy wasn’t sure what Adam was asking or what Tommy could have said that had him in this heightened state.

 

“Did you mean it?”

 

“Mean what?  I said a lot of things.”

 

“The only thing that mattered.”

 

Tommy wasn’t dense.  He knew what Adam was talking about.  It took him a minute to get it, but he knew.  Adam was talking about his vague declaration.  The few small words that hid Tommy’s admission.  He’d fallen in love too.

 

Adam’s stare became more pointed.  He leaned into Tommy’s space as he asked again.  “Did.  You.  Mean.  It?”

 

Conceding that honesty was the best route to take, Tommy whispered “Yes.”

 

“Say it,”  Adam demanded.  He’d began to creep his way up onto the bed.  He was on his hands and knees, moving up along Tommy’s body to where he was hovering over him.  With each move Adam made, Tommy sank lower until he was on his back and Adam was above him, caging Tommy in with his body.

 

Tommy hesitated for a moment, and Adam’s head came down to where there were only inches between them.  Tommy felt the heat of Adam’s bare chest radiating from his smooth skin.

 

“I fucked up, too,”  Tommy said, his breath catching in his throat.  This situation was escalating quickly, and he wasn’t sure if he liked it or is he was scared shitless.

 

Adam shook his head, not breaking eye contact.  “That’s not what I want to hear.”

 

Damn it.  Adam was going to make Tommy say it.  He wanted to, but the whole fucked up situation had him biting his tongue.  He was losing his sense of direction with Adam so close to him. 

“I...I,”

 

“Say it.  Please, Tommy.  I need to hear you say it.”

 

Adam’s plea made Tommy muster up every ounce of courage he had in himself.  “I...I think I love you, too.”

 

Tommy barely had time to finish his statement before Adam dipped in and captured Tommy’s lips with his.

 

The kiss was like nothing they’d had prior to this.  There was no anger behind it, no soft and sweet.  The kiss was desperate and heated, like a man who was starving, but sustenance was always dangling just out of reach.  The frantic slide of lips and tongue had Tommy’s head spinning.  The only coherent thought in Tommy’s head was that he didn’t want it to stop.  

 

He kissed Adam back with the same desperation, until Adam finally broke free.  He looked into Tommy’s eyes, the expression on his face laced with lust.  “I’ve never been in love before.”

 

Reaching up and brushing a stray hair from Adam’s face Tommy responded, “Me either.”

 

“I don’t know what it’s supposed to feel like, but I think it feels like this.”

 

Tommy smiled at Adam.  His confession was so heartfelt, apprehensive, and honest.  “I think it’s supposed to feel like this,”  Tommy said with a small smile.

 

With his words, Adam was kissing him again.  As they kissed, the contact began to become more heated, more urgent.  They broke free only long enough to get Tommy’s shirt off and thrown to the ground.  Skin on skin from the waist up, Tommy felt like he’d never felt before.  He’d never felt so out of control of his own feelings and body.  Adam was all consuming, and Tommy silently wished that Adam would consume him forever. 

 

Still clothed from the waist down, Adam began to push his pelvis down onto Tommy.  At the feel of Tommy’s erection through his thin sleep pants, Adam began to grind over it with his own rock hard flesh.  Tommy would have sworn in that moment that every ounce of blood in his body had moved down to his dick.  He didn’t think he’d ever been that hard and that turned on in his entire life.  Adam’s body, even through clothes, was like delicious fire that curled and lapped at Tommy’s skin, trying to burn its way to his depths.  

 

Tommy bit his lip to hold back a whimper.  If Adam didn’t stop, he was going to lose his shit, and he didn’t want to do that in his pants.  Besides, as good as it felt, Tommy was not ready for the relationship, whatever it was to progress that fast.  

 

Adam groaned into Tommy's mouth, pushing his pelvis harder into Tommy, maximizing the friction as their erections pressed together.  Adam’s hand snaked down, and right as he was about to breach the waist of Tommy’s pants, Tommy whispered, “No.”

 

Adam immediately untangled his tongue from Tommy’s and pushed himself up, cutting off all contact with Tommy’s worked up body.  “I’m sorry.  Shit.  I’m sorry.”

 

“No.  It’s fine, Adam.  It’s okay.  I just...”  Tommy cut himself off a moment while he caught his breath.  “I’m not ready.”

 

“Are you...Are you a virgin?”  Adam looked horrified, as if he’d violated Tommy without permission.

 

“No.  It’s not that.  I don’t have a lot of experience, but it’s not that.”

 

Adam sat up completely, his features softening.  “Ok.  What’s wrong.”

 

Tommy took a deep long breath.  “This is fucked up.”  He looked around, moving his arms to symbolize the situation they were in.  “This whole thing is fucked up and wrong.”

 

Adam’s face fell.  Tommy saw it, and started again, before Adam got the wrong idea.  “I don’t know what happened.  It shouldn’t have happened, but it did.  I’ve never been in love before.  I don’t know if that’s what this is, but it feels like it.”

 

“I think it does, too.”  

 

“I’ve never been with someone I loved.”

 

“Neither have I,”  Adam added in a reassuring tone. 

 

Tommy lowered his head as if embarrassed by what he was about to say.  “It will be different with you.”

 

“I hope so.”

 

“I mean it.  This situation.  It’s fucked up and who knows if we’ll come out of it alive.  I don’t want to do anything I’ll regret if the end comes.”

 

Adam looked hurt again.  “You would regret being with me?”

 

“No, but I would regret rushing into it.  I don’t want to be with you out of lust.”

 

The look on Adam’s face said that he understood.  He took a few deep breaths, in and out.  “Ok.  I get that.”

 

Tommy smiled. 

 

“So what do we do now?”  Adam asked.

 

“Stay,”  Tommy answered.  “Share the bed with me?”

 

It took less than two seconds for Adam to give his answer.  “Of course.”  

 

Adam slowly rounded the bed, and slipped in under the covers.  He positioned himself on his back and motioned for Tommy to come closer.  Tommy rolled over, cuddling in as close as he could to Adam, wrapping his arm around his waist and resting his head on Adam’s chest, over his heart.  Adam sighed with contentment.

 

“Good night, Adam.”

 

“Good night, Beautiful.”  

 

Tommy lifted his head and flashed Adam a raised brow.

 

“I’ve wanted to call you that since the first moment I saw you.”

 

Tommy smiled then, and lowered his head back to Adam’s chest.  He fell asleep in record time, as he listened to the thump, thump of Adam’s heart. 


	14. Chapter 14

He didn’t know how it had happened, but Adam was beyond thrilled to be waking up to his beautiful, blond housemate in this arms.  Yes, Tommy was his housemate, but was he Adam’s boyfriend?  He’d never had a boyfriend before, so everything that’d happened in the past twenty-four hours was completely foreign territory.  Tommy confessed to being in love with Adam.  Didn’t that mean they were official?  Adam didn’t know.

 

Instead of thinking about it too deeply, he watched Tommy as he slept quietly on his chest.  The man was perfect, and he loved Adam.  He loved Adam despite what he was, what he’d always been.  He’d always been a killer, nothing more, nothing less.  He’d been the best at what he did.  Ninety-six long hours had created the monster he’d become.  Before that life changing night, he’d dreamed of leaving the life with Abigail.  He wanted to take her away, his surrogate little sister, and show her what life could be life if they’d been born into a normal family.  Ninety-six hours led to Abigail’s death at Adam’s own hands, with only a hint of remorse.

 

He wasn’t heartless, but the life he’d been born into didn’t allow for remorse.  Adam felt bad for the lives he took, but remorse would have gotten him killed.

 

However, just as that fateful night changed Adam into a monster, three little words from the man sleeping in his arms had changed Adam again.  He no longer wanted to be a monster.  He now wanted that life he’d planned with Abigail, only with her brother.  Tommy, his Tommy, had opened Adam’s heart and washed away all the rot he’d felt inside himself for so long.  If Adam was darkness, then Tommy was the light.

 

Tommy stirred in Adam’s arms.  Instinctively, Adam curled his arms around the other man, and drew him in close.  Now that they’d admitted their feelings for each other, Adam felt as though he couldn’t get close enough.

 

His eyes fluttered open and sleepily began to focus.  The smile on Tommy’s face was happy and welcoming.  “Good morning.”

 

“Good morning, beautiful.”

 

Tommy blushed at Adam’s words. 

 

“Did you sleep well?”  Adam asked, brushing Tommy’s messy hair from his eyes.

 

“Like a baby.”

 

That made Adam smile.  He leaned down to capture Tommy’s lips, but Tommy pulled away at the last second, hiding his face.  Adam immediately felt uneasy, until Tommy motioned to his mouth.

 

“I need to brush my teeth first,”  Tommy admitted shyly. 

 

Adam smiled and released his hold on Tommy.  “Ok, but hurry up.  I really want to kiss you again.”

 

The red creeped up into Tommy’s cheeks again.  “I...I want you to kiss me again.”

 

“Then stop wasting time!  Go!”  Adam laughed,  swatting Tommy playfully on the butt as he was getting out of bed.  “Meet me in the kitchen.  I’ll start breakfast.”

 

“Ok.”

 

Tommy padded across the room towards the bathroom.  Adam may or may not have stared at his ass the whole time.  Right before Tommy closed the door behind him, Adam said, “Hey, Tommy.”

 

Tommy pulled the door back open and leaned into it.  “Yeah?”

 

“I love you.”

 

The smile on Tommy’s face was so wide, Adam swore his face was going to split in two.

 

“I love you too, Adam.”

 

The smile on Adam’s face matched the smile on Tommy’s face, and he wore it the entire rest of the day. 

 

~

 

“We don’t have anything yet, but don’t you worry.  We’ll find the bastard sooner or later.”  

 

Adam had been on the phone with his father for the past half hour.  His father had been calling everyday for the past two weeks, ever since Vincent’s paper trail led right to Tommy.  His name at least.  Fortunately for Tommy, his father wasn’t a complete idiot.  He put the bank account in Tommy’s name, but didn’t use his legal surname.  Vincent had used his own last name.  A lousy alias, but an alias for Tommy none the less.  That little name change would make it harder for Adam’s father’s men to find Tommy, but it wouldn’t keep them away forever.  Eventually they would find his real identity, and when they did, they would come after him.

 

And his mother.  With everything that had been going on, Adam had forgotten that unbeknownst to the women who raised and loved Tommy, Vincent had put her life in danger as well.  As soon as Tommy’s identity was discovered, Adam’s family would first go to Tommy’s mother.  If they didn’t torture her for what she wouldn’t know, they would still kill her.

 

Tommy hadn’t mentioned whether or not his mother knew who Vincent really was, only that Tommy had grown up oblivious to it.  Adam would need to find out so he could do his best to protect Tommy’s mother as well.  

 

“I know you will,”  Adam said, trying to keep the anxiety out of his voice.  He was calm on the outside, but his insides had been screaming since Tommy was discovered.  His gut twisted with all the possible outcomes that they were potentially facing. 

 

“Mark my words, son.  That little bastard child will pay.”

 

“I know.”

 

“I should have rectified this situation years ago.  I can’t believe I ever trusted that weasel to have a child outside of the family.”

 

Adam bit his tongue.  He knew what “rectifying” the situation entailed.  His father would have forced Tommy’s mother to have an abortion and then paid her off with hush money.  If she would have refused, not only would Tommy have not survived, but his mother wouldn’t have either.  The very thought made Adam’s blood boil.  He had to physically calm himself before responding. 

 

“Vincent never wanted his kid to be a part of this.  Do you blame him?”

 

“You’ve never cared,”  Adam’s father said matter of factly. 

 

If only his father knew of all the nights he’d dreamt about a different life, before his ninety-six hours of hell.  In those hours he’d wished for death, and in a way he had died.  He died and was reborn the man he was today.  He may have had a slight heart before Tommy, but it was hardened to the point it hadn’t mattered.  He was reborn a killer that day, and it had never bothered him.

 

“You’re right,”  Adam lied.  “But I was brought up within it.  I don’t know anything else.  Vincent had a taste of normalcy for a while.  We have a very dangerous way of life.  If I ever had a child, I’m not sure I’d want to put their life in danger if I didn’t have to.”

 

Adam’s father’s voice softened.  “Do you think you’ll ever give me a grandchild?”  

 

He may have been the head of a crime family, but deep down Adam’s father cared about family more than anything.  At least his immediate family.  He’d made it known since Adam had been a teenager that he wanted to be a Grandpa someday.  Joke was on him that his only child turned out to be gay.

 

“We’ve been over this, Dad.”

 

“You don’t have to sleep with a woman for Christ’s sake, Adam.  We can find a healthy surrogate.”

 

Adam had never really thought about having a child.  Being gay, it was a subject that just didn’t come up in his life, except for when his father mentioned it.  But love changes a person.  With the slight mention of a grandchild, Adam’s mind immediately went to a place where he and Tommy were in a park, swinging a little blond haired girl with big brown eyes on a swing set.

 

He shook the thought from his mind.  He had to stay focused on keeping Tommy safe.  “Can we not talk about this now?  I have some shit to do.”

 

“What stuff?”

 

Shit.  Always the nosey parent, even though Adam was a grown-ass man. “I got word that the South Side has been running dirty money through our acquisitions.  Thought I’d go see what I can dig up.”

 

“Ah, yes.  Please do.  And tell me what you find out.”

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

“Talk to you later, son.”

 

“Bye,”  Adam said before he hung up the phone.

 

He needed to go find Tommy.  They needed to discuss a few things, mainly how to keep Tommy’s mom safe.  They couldn’t leave any type of paper trail.  Once Adam’s father’s men started putting two and two together it would lead them right to Tommy, Adam, and the safe house.   There was only one way to proceed.

 

“Tommy,”  Adam called, poking his head out the glass door leading from the kitchen to the back yard.  Tommy was there, laying on a chair in the sun. 

 

“What’s up?”  Tommy asked.  He sat up as Adam approached.  Adam bent down to give him a sweet kiss on the lips before sitting in the chair across from Tommy.

 

“You’re going to burn.”

 

Tommy looked down at his bare chest and pale skin.  “Nah.  I don’t tan, but I don’t really burn either.”

 

“I need to talk to you.”  Adam wasted no time getting to the point.  “We need to discuss your mother.”

 

“My mother?”  Tommy looked puzzled.

 

“Yes.  It just occurred to me that your mother may be in danger.  Even though Vincent put the money under an alias, it was a flimsy alias.  It won’t take long before my father’s men figure it out.  When they do, the first place they’lll go is to your mother.”

 

“My mother…” Tommy trailed off.  It obviously hadn’t occurred to him either.  “Why would they hurt her?”

 

“To hurt you.  And to tie up any loose ends.”

 

Tommy processed what Adam had said for a long moment.  The cogs in his head were almost visible as he put everything Adam had said together.  When the lightbulb finally went off, Adam could almost see the conduction in Tommy’s frightened and aware eyes.

 

“Oh, my god.  My mother.”

 

“Does your mother know about Vincent, Tommy?  Does she know he was made, or did he keep that from her as well?”

 

“I...I don’t know.  She never talked about it, obviously.  It’s possible she knows.”

 

Adam stood and offered his hand to Tommy.  “Come on.  Let’s go.  You need to pack a suitcase.  We’re going to get your mother.”

 

~

 

The plane ride was long and stressful.  They two men boarded the plane four hours prior, Tommy a ball of nerves, visibly upset, and Adam played the part of the strong one.  He held Tommy’s hand, reassured him that everything would be okay, that his mother would stay safe, all the while knowing that he couldn’t promise the outcome they’d both wanted and hoped for. 

 

It’d been easy to board the plane, easier than Adam had thought.  Getting the money to fly commercial was no big deal.  The tickets he bought for couch were not so expensive that it would set off any red flags if someone nosed into his bank account.  The hard part was getting past security strapped.  It was a good thing that he’d slept with more than one of the men that worked at the airport.  A little flirting and an empty promise of a rendezvous when he returned was all it took to get past the checkpoints.  He’d also had Tommy go ahead of him, so if anyone were at the airport that recognized Adam, they wouldn’t be able to put the two together.

 

The plan was to fly to Tommy’s hometown, collect his mother, and take her to a safe house somewhere.  She wouldn’t be able to stay with them. He needed to keep them separated just in case things went south.  Adam had a safehouse in Nebraska that no one, not even his father knew about.  He was going to have her hide out there until everything settled.  They would drive her to Nebraska in a rental, paid for with cash, and then take a train back home.  Multiple modes of transportation also helped shield the men’s whereabouts if they happened to be found out while they were gone. 

 

“I wish you wouldn’t have flirted with that guy,”  Tommy said as they stood on the curb at the airport, waiting for a cab.

 

“Are you jealous, Tommy?”  Adam asked with a smirk.  Despite everything, he found Tommy’s jealousy adorable. 

 

“Why wouldn’t I be.  Look at you.”

 

Adam just smiled.  

 

“How would you feel if I offered someone sex to get my way?”

 

“I’d kill them,”  Adam deadpanned.  He apparently had a hint of jealousy as well. 

 

“That’s not funny,”  Tommy said as he waved his arms at an approaching taxi.

 

“I’m sorry.  You’re right. I shouldn’t have said that,”  Adam apologized.  Sometimes his mouth got the better of him.  “And I shouldn’t have flirted with him.”

 

“Promised him sex.”

 

Adam sighed.  “Yes.  I shouldn’t have promised him sex.  But it did get me through with my gun.”  Adam gave Tommy a little pleading grin. 

 

Tommy rolled his eyes.  “You’re forgiven, and I’m glad you have your gun.  I feel safer knowing you have it.”

 

“I won’t let anything happen to you if I can help it.”

 

“I know.”  Tommy smiled up at Adam.  “That’s part of the reason I love you.”

 

“I love your innocence,”  Adam countered.

 

“I love your strength.”

 

“I love your eyes.”

 

“I love your mouth.”

 

“I love your ass.”

 

Tommy slapped Adam in the chest as Adam rolled with laughter.  Tommy joined in as the cab finally came to a stop.  

 

“Come on.  Let’s go get your mom.”

 

Adam stuffed their bags into the trunk and then helped Tommy into the waiting taxi.  A few minutes later they were on the road, on their way to Tommy’s childhood home. 

  
  
  
  



	15. Chapter 15

Adam and Tommy had stopped at a small quiet diner to eat before coming face-to-face with Tommy’s mother.  It had been Adam’s idea.  Come to find out, the big, ruthless, assassin had a nervous spot for meeting the parents.  Tommy found it a sweet and endearing quality.

 

“She’ll love you, Adam.  Just like I do.”  Tommy smiled from across the booth.

 

“I’ve never done this before.  I don’t know how I’m supposed to act or what I’m supposed to say.”  

 

“Just be yourself.”

 

“I can’t shoot her,”  Adam said with no humor.  

 

Tommy just rolled his eyes.  Adam was cutthroat and charming when he needed to be.  Tommy had witnessed it first hand with the men at the airport.  However, when it came to normal interactions, Adam was adorable and oblivious.  Tommy figured that with the world Adam grew up in, he’d never developed people skills the way a normal person would. 

 

“I know you can’t shoot her, Adam.”  Tommy laughed a bit when Adam gave him a truly perplexed look.  “Be yourself, like you are with me.”

 

Adam was thoughtful for a moment before he answered.  “Tommy, you’re the exception to the rule.  You don’t see me as a killer.  You see me as a man, even after the horrible thing I did to your family.  You’re not afraid of me, and I’m terrified of you.”

 

The breath caught in Tommy’s throat.  The pure honesty came from Adam before he’d even realized he’d said it.  “Why are you afraid of me?  I could never hurt you, nor would I.”

 

“But you’re wrong, Tommy.  You’re the only person that can hurt me.”

 

The weight of Adam’s words pushed down heavily on Tommy’s heart.  His confession was profound and meant more than anything else ever would.  Adam had given Tommy his heart.  It was the only part of Adam that was vulnerable, and Adam had kept it locked away his entire life.  He could be beaten, tortured, even killed, but none of that mattered to Adam.  He feared nothing, not even death.  The exception was his heart, and he was scared to death that Tommy would crush it.

 

Tommy leaned across the booth and took Adam’s hands into his.  Looking Adam in the eyes, Tommy promised, “I will never hurt you.”

 

“I believe you.”

 

~

 

Tommy’s house was like every other house on the street.  It was like every other house in the town.  It was like every other house in every other town across the entire country.  It was two stories, with white shutters and pale yellow vinyl siding.  Just by looking at it, anyone could tell that it wasn’t just a house, it was a home.

 

“I think I should go in first,”  Tommy said.  He and Adam were still sitting in the car across the street.  “She has no idea what’s going on. I need to butter her up a bit before we give her the bad news.”

 

Adam peered out the window to the quiet looking house.  “Ok.  I’ll just wait outside the door until you come and get me.”

 

Both men got out of the car and approached the house.  The neighbor to the left was outside washing his car.  He was about Adam’s age, with a wife and two small kids.  He wasn’t really a fan of Tommy.  Not since his wife got drunk at the neighborhood cookout and very loudly hit on Tommy in front of her husband.  Not the normal run of the mill flirting either.  Right in front of her husband, she’d offered to suck Tommy off the next time her husband was at work.  Tommy had been so embarrassed that he’d failed to mention that she was not and would never be his type.  Ever since that day, Gabe had nothing but disdain for Tommy.

 

As they approached the house, Gabe eyed both men with suspicion.  “What the fuck is his problem?”  Adam asked as he noticed the look that was being thrown in their direction.

 

“Long story.  Just ignore him,”  Tommy said as he nodded his head in greeting to Gabe.  Gabe just huffed and went back to washing his car.

 

Tommy could tell Adam wasn’t happy about letting it go, so as soon as they hit the porch, Tommy stood on his tip toes and planted a big, wet kiss on Adam’s lips.  Adam reacted as Tommy's hoped he would and deepened the kiss.  Not only was it for Adam’s benefit, but Tommy needed contact.  It was comforting before he had to go break the news to his mother.  It was also a message to Gabe, who was burning holes in Tommy’s back.  By the look on Gabe’s face as Tommy pulled away and turned to go inside, he’d gotten the message loud and clear. 

 

“I’ll be back in a few,’ Tommy said as he turned the handle and disappeared into the house. 

 

Tommy looked around.  The house was quiet and just how he remembered it.  He didn’t see his mom anywhere.  He walked through the living room to the kitchen and looked out the back door.  His mother loved to garden.  If she wasn’t inside watching terrible reality t.v., she was out in her garden.  But she wasn’t in the garden.  Tommy called up the stairs to see if she was perhaps in one of the bedrooms.  “Mom!”

 

No answer.  Tommy began to worry.  What if Adam’s father’s men had found him out already and gotten to her?  He’d never forgive himself if something happened to her because of him.  He began to panic, but before he was able to get to the door and call for Adam, his mom came down the stairs with her hands full with a laundry basket.  Even from the stairs, Tommy could tell that she had ear buds in her ears.  His heart put itself back in his chest. 

 

When she got to the bottom of the stairs, she looked up and smiled.  It was just how Tommy had remembered it.  Big and bright, his mother’s smile could light up a room.  She dropped the basket on a nearby chair and wrapped her arms around her baby boy.

 

“My sweet boy.  Oh, how I’ve missed you.”

 

“I missed you too, Mom,”  Tommy said, wrapping his arms around his mother’s waist, hugging her back tenfold.  In all honesty, since the night he’d found out that he was being hunted, he hadn’t known if he’d ever see his mother again.  Now, standing in the middle of his home, he didn’t want to let her go.

 

After what felt like an hour, she finally let go and gave him a once over.  “Where have you been these past couple of months that you couldn’t even call your mother?”  she asked, eyeing him like she was suspicious of something.  It made Tommy shift nervously on his feet.  Even as an adult, when his mother got a certain look on her face, Tommy’s palms would sweat.

 

“I’m sorry, Mom.  I’ve been busy.”

 

“Too busy to call your mother?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“But not too busy to buy yourself some designer clothes?”

 

Tommy looked down at what he was wearing.  A pair of nice jeans and a button down long sleeved shirt rolled up to the elbows.  Not his normal style, at least not what his mother was used to seeing. He shifted on his feet. “They were a gift.”

 

“Oh,”  his mother said.  Her features softened.  

 

“I met someone.”  

 

Her features softened more.  “You met someone.”  She could hardly contain her smile.  Tommy knew she’d be giddy by the idea that Tommy was in love. 

 

“Yes.  And he’s perfect.”

 

“Oh, baby.  I’m so happy for you.”  His mother hugged him again. 

 

“He’s right outside.  I want you to meet him.”

 

“Yes!  Please.  I’d love to.  Bring him in.  Let me just go to the kitchen and get some drinks or snacks or something,”  his mother said, dashing off in the direction of the kitchen.

 

Tommy smiled.  His mother was the greatest.  He’d been lucky, he thought to himself.  He had a mother who cherished him.  Not everyone was lucky enough to have that.  Adam wasn’t.  His mother had died while he was still young enough to be molded by the people around him. Tommy wondered if Adam’s mother would have survived, if Adam would have turned out to be the killer he’d become.  

 

Shaking the grim thought from his head, Tommy opened the front door and popped his head out.  To his surprise, Adam was sitting on the steps talking to none other than Gabe.  Their conversation looked chummy, too.  Gabe had been laughing at whatever Adam had said.  

 

“Um...we’re ready for you,”  Tommy said, looking at Adam and then Gabe.  

 

“Ok, baby,”  Adam said cheerfully, turning his attention back to Gabe.  “It was really nice to meet you.”  

 

Adam stuck out his hand for Gabe to shake.  The other man took the offered hand, shook and turned on his heel back to his own yard.

 

“What was that all about?”  Tommy asked, eyebrow arched to the sky.

 

“Gabe and I were getting acquainted. Seems he thought you were out to steal his wife.  I very politely reassured him that he had nothing to worry about.”

 

Tommy laughed softly and nudged Adam toward the door.  Stepping inside, Tommy pulled Adam over to the sofa, and both men sat down, waiting for Tommy’s mother to emerge from the kitchen.

 

Adam and Tommy both looked up in the direction of the kitchen when they heard Tommy’s mother enter the room.  Tommy had a huge smile on his face, and was about to introduce Adam when Tommy’s mother dropped the tray of drinks from her hands.  It crashed to the ground, spraying the entire area with what appeared to be lemonade.

 

“Adam…”  his mother whispered, as if the name got stuck in her throat.

 

“What?”  Tommy said, confused by his mother’s reaction to his boyfriend.  Did she just say his name?  Did she know Adam?  Did Adam know his mother?  One of his questions was answered as soon as he looked at Adam, and Adam’s features held the same questions Tommy was asking himself. 

 

“Mom?  Do you know Adam?”

 

His mother just kept shaking her head.  “This can’t be.  I was so careful.  Vincent was so careful.  No.  No.  This can’t be happening.”

 

Tommy jumped to his feet and went to his mother.  He wrapped his arms around her and tried to console the woman who was now softly crying to herself.  “It’s okay, mom.  This is my boyfriend, Adam.”

 

“No.  No,”  Tommy’s mother said, extracting herself from Tommy’s arms and pushing him behind her as if shielding him from Adam.  “I won’t let you hurt him.  You’ll have to kill me first.”

 

“What?”  Adam was now the one surprised.  “What just a minute.  Back up.  Why would I hurt Tommy?”

 

“I know who you are.  And I know what you do.”

 

“I’m not going to hurt your son, mam.”

 

“Liar!”

 

Adam took a step forward.  “Tommy.”

 

“Don't you talk to him,”  Tommy’s mother screamed.  “You may have him fooled, but you’ll never fool me.”

 

“It’s okay, mom.  He’s not going to hurt me.”

 

“Yes he is.  Yes he is.”  Tommy’s mother was sobbing.  Tommy had no idea how she knew who Adam was, but she obviously did, which meant only one thing.  His mother knew what Vincent was.

 

“Mom.  Listen to me.  Adam is not going to hurt me.  He would have already if he was going to.  Trust me.”

 

“How do you know?  You don’t know who this man is.  You don’t know what he does.”

 

“Yes, mom.  I do.”  Tommy gently turned his mother so she was facing him.  The fear in her eyes was real, and Tommy needed to calm her if there was any way of getting her out of the house and to somewhere safe.  “He’s a killer.”

 

Her eyes went wide as she looked at her son.  Whatever she’d been expecting Tommy to say, it wasn’t the truth.  “How…”

“Come.  Sit.  This is a long story, and not one you’re really going to want to hear.”  Tommy guided his mother over the the recliner across from the sofa.  He figured sitting her on the couch next to Adam would be pushing it if he wanted her to believe and trust what he was about to say.   Once she was situated and relatively calm, Tommy began to tell their story. 

  
  



	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm Back!!!

“ I need you to stay calm and trust me.  Can you do that?”

 

“Of course, sweet boy.  I know you’d never lie to me.”

 

“You’re right.  I wouldn’t, but this is a complicated story, and it’s going to be hard for you to believe, but it’s the truth.”  

 

“Ok,”  Tommy’s mom said reluctantly, like she wasn’t sure she wanted to know the truth.  Tommy didn’t blame her.  The truth was stranger than fiction.  The stories from the pages of Mario Puza were coming to life right in front of Tommy’s eyes.

 

“I know Adam is a killer and a hired gun.  He’s the son of the biggest crime family in the country.  He was my sister’s best friend.  He’s also my father’s murderer.”

 

“Oh my god.”

 

“It get’s worse,”  Adam said from his place beside Tommy.  Both he and his mother looked at Adam with matching expressions that looked as if Adam were an insane person.

 

“Oh god, my baby boy.  What did you get mixed up in?”

 

Tommy signed loudly.  “Dad fucked up, Mom.  He stole money from Adam’s father.  Two million.  He got himself killed as well as his family.”

 

Horror set into the lines of Tommy’s mother’s face.  He didn’t want to tell her this, but if she were going to trust that Adam was there to protect them both, she needed to know every dirty detail.  “Not Abigail?”

 

“Yes.  Abigail, and Sue too.”

 

“You monster!”  she spat at Adam.  For his part, Adam stayed quiet and took the accusation in stride.  He was in fact a monster of sorts, so the insult didn’t faze him. 

 

“He’s not a monster.”

 

“Yes, he is.”

 

“I am.”  Adam said from the sofa.  Sometimes his bluntness irritated Tommy. 

 

Tommy rolled his eyes.  “Shut up, Adam.”  Adam immediately sat back in his spot with a look of pride on his face.  Tommy may be soft spoken and take orders from Adam, but he could hold his own when the situation called for it.  “He let me live, so he can’t be that much of a monster.”

 

She was about to spout something else off, but stopped in her tracks.  “He let you live?”  She was utterly dumbfounded.  

 

“Yes.  I walked in while he was, uh, cleaning up.  He could have killed me.  He should have killed me, but he didn’t.”

 

Tommy’s mother thought about this for a long moment.  Tommy didn’t blame her.  Obviously she knew what Tommy’s father was and how Adam’s family took care of business.  It still shocked Tommy that Adam didn’t snuff him out as well to protect himself and his family.  

 

“Are you going to say anything, Mom?”  Tommy asked after his mother was silent for quite some time.  She was beginning to worry him.

 

“You shouldn’t trust so easily, Tommy.  He’ll turn on you.  That’s what they do.”

 

“He won’t turn on me, Mom.  I can promise you that.”

 

Tommy’s mother’s eyes filled with tears.  “My sweet boy.  I can’t protect you now.  It’s too late.  Too late for both of us.”  She began to sob.

 

“Mam, I’m not going to hurt either of you.”  Adam tried to calm and reassure her, but she turned her head toward Adam and gave him a death glare that would have had a normal person worried, but Adam wasn’t normal.  He didn’t bat an eye. 

 

“You shut up!  You shut the hell up!”  she screamed at Adam.  

 

“Mom,”  Tommy touched her shoulder.  He needed to settle her down before she worked herself into a stroke. “It’s okay.  You can trust him.”

 

Violently shaking her head, she sobbed.  The words came on broken breaths.  “I don’t know...wh...wh...what he did to brainwash you, baby, but he did.  You’re walking right...right into his trap.”

 

Tommy didn’t know what to do.  His mother was hysterical.  She was crying, and she was angry and scared.  Tommy didn’t blame her.  If she knew about Adam and his family, she had every right to be scared.  She needed to be scared, but not of Adam.  He was their only ally, and Tommy needed her to calm down and relax before he broke the news to her.  It needed to sink in and fast, which it couldn’t do if she was too upset to process it.  Tommy looked at Adam silently, asking for help. 

 

“Mam...I don’t know how you know of me, but most of your accusations are correct,”  Adam said, moving to the edge of the sofa and steepling his fingers in front of him. “I am a killer.  I was instructed to enforce punishment unto Vincent for his crimes against my family.  I’ve killed many times and not thought twice about it.  I  _ am  _ a monster in every way.  I’ve been a monster since I was eighteen years old.”

 

“See.  He admits it.”  Tommy’s mother was waving her arms in front of her.  She was coming down from her hysteria, but was still crying and erratic. 

 

“Let him finish, Mom,”  Tommy snapped quietly.  He didn’t want to be harsh with his mother, but damn it.  She was going to listen. 

 

Adam continued. “I don’t want to be a monster anymore.”

 

“A tiger can’t change his stripes,”  Tommy’s mother huffed. 

 

“He can for love,”  Adam said, looking into Tommy’s eyes as a genuinely happy smile spread across his face. 

 

Tommy’s mother looked at Adam and then turned her head back to Tommy.  She did this several times before the truth started to set into her features.  “This can’t be.”

 

“I’m in love with your son.”

 

“No.  No, no, no,”  She shook her head back and forth.  “This can’t be happening.  I protected you.  I shielded you from your father’s life.  I didn’t want you anywhere near it, neither did your father, and here you are, in bed with the enemy.”

 

Now Tommy rolled his eyes at his mother.  What a dramatic thing to say.  He loved her, but she was being ridiculous.  “Did you even hear what he said?”  

 

“Those lies that he loves you?”

 

“Isn’t not killing me proof enough that he does?  But that wasn’t what I was talking about.  He doesn’t want to kill anymore, mom.”  

 

The conversation was getting exhausting, and frankly, they needed to start hauling ass to Nebraska.  Tommy nor Adam had cell phones with them, and neither had any way of knowing if hitmen were on their way.  They needed to curb the discussion for later and get moving. 

 

As if their minds were in sync, Adam stood up and clapped his hands together.  “As much as I’d love to continue this conversation and win you over, we really need to get moving.”  As he spoke, he began moving around the room, looking out each window and looking about. 

 

“I don’t understand,”  Tommy’s mom said, taking in Adam’s behavior.  “Tommy, what’s going on?”

 

“Like I said, Adam is here to protect us.  Long story short, Dad fucked up and Adam’s family will be coming after me, which means they’ll be coming after you.  Adam and I are going to take you somewhere safe.”

 

“But…”

 

“No buts,”  Adam said, coming back around to stop in front of Tommy and his mother.  “You can question my motives and intentions later.  Right now you need to trust your son.  Go upstairs, pack a bag and get back down here.  You have five minutes.”

 

Tommy’s mother stood there at the foot of the steps and glowered at Adam.  It was obvious she didn’t like taking orders, but once Adam started counting down the minutes, she turned and ascended the stairs with Tommy in  tow.  She reemerged a few minutes later with a suitcase and backpack.  She didn’t look any less pissed off, or scared.  But she was trusting Tommy, and that’s what mattered.

 

Wasting no time, Adam hurried everyone out and into the car.  He put the bags in the trunk, got in the car and peeled out much faster than was probably necessary.  Tommy understood.  As absurd as it seemed, he understood. 

 

It didn’t take long for Adam to hit the highway.  It was going to be a ten hour drive if they drove right through, but it was late.  Adam and Tommy had spent a good chunk of the day on a plane, and it was already dark.  They would need to pull over somewhere and rest, but it was best to get a few hours away before that happened.  So they drove.  For the most part it was in silence.  Tommy’s mother sat in the back seat while Tommy sat beside Adam.  They held hands and chatted periodically about nothing of importance.  Tommy’s mother’s inquisitive looks didn’t go unnoticed.  She was studying Adam.  Staring at their linked hands, listening to their exchanges, she was trying to determine if Adam was telling the truth about wanting to protect them.  Or if he was just taking them somewhere desolate to kill them and dump their bodies. 

 

“You should pull over.  You’re exhausted.”  They’d been driving for almost five hours, and    
Adam looked as if he could barely keep his eyes open.

 

“I’m fine.”

 

“No, you’re not.  You need to rest.  We all do.”

 

“Just a little bit farther,”  Adam said, squeezing Tommy’s fingers with his own.  Tommy admired his determination, but not at the cost of Adam’s own well being. 

 

“Next exit, pull off.  That’s not up for discussion.”

 

“Tommy…”

 

“It is not up for discussion,”  Tommy said, giving Adam a little scowl.  “You’re no good to us if you can’t stay awake.”

 

“Ok,”  Adam conceded.  He gave Tommy a wolfish grin.  “I’m not used to being bossed around.  Is it weird that I like it?”

 

Tommy just laughed.  Only Adam would crack a perv in the situation they were in. “I’m being serious.”

 

Adam pulled the car into a hotel parking lot.  It wasn’t a five star place, but it wasn’t a pit, either.  More like a Holiday Inn Express. They’d get a continental breakfast.  He put the car in park and picked up Tommy’s hand again, kissing his knuckles.  “I sorry.  You’re right.  I can’t protect you if I’m not one hundred percent on my toes.  I know that.  I just wanted to get as far away as possible.  We don’t know if or when they’re coming.”

 

“I know that.  But it’s been five hours.  They’re not going to find us that quickly.”

 

“I just can’t lose you, Tommy.  My entire life has been death.  I want life.  With you.”

 

Tommy smiled, turning his head as if embarrassed.  He hadn’t expected a deep meaningful confession to come out of Adam while his mother sat open mouthed in the back of the car. 

 

Having none of it, Adam grabbed Tommy’s chin with his fingers and gently turned his back so 

Adam could look into his eyes.  “You are my Light, Tommy.  I am the fire.  You are the rain.  You’ve washed out the flame of violence and death.  I don’t want it back.  I want you and your light.  Forever.”  Adam cupped Tommy’s faced and brought their lips together.

 

Tommy momentarily forgot his mother was in the car.  He instantly became so absorbed in Adam’s words that he barely registered his mother’s voice. 

 

“You really do love him, don’t you?”

 

Breaking away, Adam smiled and looked up into Tommy’s eyes.  “Yes, I do.”

 

“I believe you.”

 

Tommy smiled at his mother.  Her belief and trust meant the world to him. He knew it was hard for her, but she’d seen it, heard it with Adam’s confession.  

 

“Well let’s go get a room.  We’ll leave first thing in the morning, which should put us at the safe house a little after noon.  The sooner we get there, the sooner I can get back to a phone and call my dad.  He’ll get suspicious if I’m unreachable for too long.”

 

The three checked into a room for the night.  It was awkward sharing a bed with his boyfriend while his mother was in the bed right next to him, but Adam insisted it was safer if they stayed together.  Adam went right to bed, as did Tommy’s mother.  Tommy decided he needed to wind down with a long hot shower.  The water pressure sucked, but the heat felt good on his muscles and allowed his mind to relax.  Adam’s words ran through his mind on repeat.  Everything Adam had said was perfect and made Tommy fall in love even more.  He’d realized something as well.  Adam was now a part of him.  Even if he wanted to, he could leave.  Not because he was forced to stay, not because danger lurked at every corner.  Tommy wanted to stay.

 

Climbing out of the tub, Tommy wrapped a towel around himself and swiped his hand across the foggy mirror.  Looking at his reflexion, he figured he’d see exhaustion, fear, maybe even a little anger.  He saw none of those emotions.  The only emotions that his face gave away was love and happiness.  Despite everything, Tommy was happy.  Smiling at himself in the mirror, Tommy whispered, “I am his light.”


	17. Chapter 17

Bright and early the next morning, Adam, Tommy and his mother were on the road to Nebraska.  True to his word, Adam got them there by noon.  They’d spent about two hours getting Tommy’s mother ready for her stay.  He had no idea how long she would have to stay there, so he’d made sure she had enough of everything she would need for at least a month.  If her stay ended up being longer than that, Adam would have to find some way of restocking the safe house with all the essentials.

 

He’d felt a deep remorse pulling Tommy away from his mother so soon.  There was no way of knowing if she’d ever see her son again, and that knowledge weighed heavy in her weathered features.  Tommy’s face held so many emotions, all eclipsed by fear.  It broke Adam’s heart, something until that moment, he didn’t even know it was capable of breaking. 

 

“We really have to go, Tommy,”  Adam said softly as he gently brushed his fingers across Tommy’s shoulder.  Tommy had his mother in a vice-like hug, and his mother was silently weeping on his shoulder.  He hated making Tommy leave her behind, but it was for her own safety.  Adam couldn’t protect them both by himself, and he’d never forgive himself if anything happened to either one of them.  She’d be safe in Nebraska.  Not even Adam’s father knew the safehouse existed, and Adam had been very careful in securing its location.  Nothing but cash funded its purchase, and an alias had been used of the deed.  He’d always known that one day it would come in handy. However, he never thought their current situation would be the reason. 

 

“I love you, baby.  Please be careful.”  Tommy’s mother loosened her grip, but didn’t let go of her son. 

 

“I will be careful.  I’ll be back soon, okay?  When this is all over, I’ll come get you, and we’ll go home.”

 

Adam’s face fell.  Home.  Tommy wasn’t talking about the home he’d been sharing with Adam.  He was talking about his mother’s home, clear on the opposite end of the country from Adam.  If he made it out of this mess alive, Adam would follow Tommy across the country to be with him.  Hell, he’d even buy a house big enough for the three of them to live.  A cozy house on the beach with a mother-in-law suite, so Tommy could always be close to his mother, but not too close.

 

“You have enough to stay here for about a month.  If that time comes and goes, I’ll make arrangements for the house to be restocked.  Under no circumstances are you to leave this house unless you are told to do so by myself or Tommy.  I’ve left three burner phones here with our phone numbers already programmed into each one.  Do not call us unless it’s an emergency.”  Adam sounded like he was barking orders to a subordinate, but it had to be done.  No candy coating it; things had to be done his way and to the letter.   

 

Tommy’s mother wasn’t offended by Adam’s tone.  Her face told Adam that she understood and would follow instructions.  “Just keep him safe.  Please.  That’s all I ask.”

 

Adam grabbed Tommy’s hand and brought it to his lips.  “I’ll die before anything happens to Tommy.”  He kissed Tommy’s knuckles softly, which earned him an adoring smile from the man he loved.

 

Everyone said their goodbyes one final time before Tommy and Adam left for the train station.  It had taken nine hours by car to get from Tommy’s mother’s house to Nebraska.  The trip back home would be another seven hours by train.  Once back home, Adam would have to immediately go and see his father.  He had no idea if his father had tried to contact him since he’d left.  If he had, Adam already had his story planned.  He’d met a young man and whisked him away for a day of sex and fun.  It wasn’t an uncommon thing for Adam to do on the spur of the moment, so his father wouldn’t question it. 

 

Once on the train, Tommy started to relax.  The cabin was small, but big enough for both to fit on the bunk.  Adam sat on the edge and beckoned Tommy over.  “Come here, baby.  Let me rub your shoulders.”  Adam scooted to the wall, allowing room for Tommy to slide in next to him.  

 

Adam began to rub the knots out of Tommy’s shoulders with small pressured circles.  Tommy moaned softly as Adam worked inch by inch across his back.   The sound made Adam happy in a way he couldn’t describe.  He’d given many massages to lovers, but never had he experienced such satisfaction in doing so.  He sighed.

 

“What’s wrong?” Tommy asked, turning as soon as he heard the sound come from Adam’s mouth.

 

“Nothing.  I’m happy.”

 

“Happy?”  Tommy asked.

 

Adam stopped rubbing Tommy’s shoulders and wrapped his arms around Tommy’s waist and buried his face in the crook of Tommy’s neck.  “Yes.  Happy.”

 

They lay like that until both men eventually fell asleep. 

 

~

 

Tommy woke to a blood-curdling scream.  In the small confines of the train cabin, Adam’s scream sounded louder than ever before.   He jumped up, forgetting the low ceiling of the bunk and hit his head.

 

“Fuck,”  Tommy grumbled as he rubbed his hand across his now throbbing head.  He grimaced as he turned his attention to Adam.

 

This nightmare seemed to be worse than any he’d seen so far.  Adam was thrashing, crying, screaming for someone to stop.  It was as if Adam were begging for his life.  Tommy gently brushed his fingers across Adam’s sweaty cheek to try to soothe him.

 

“Shh.  It’s okay, Adam.  I’m here, honey.  I’m here.”  Tommy used his other hand to gently turn Adam onto his back.  Tommy had learned that it was easier to wake Adam up and free him from his nightmare by getting him onto his back.   “Wake up for me.  Come on.  Wake up.”

 

Tommy continued to trace Adam’s face with his fingers as Adam wailed.   It was loud and probably being heard by the nearby cabins.  Attention was definitely not something they needed right now, so Tommy tried to wake Adam.  He shook the man lightly, talking softly in his ear.  Normally, Adam would have been awake by now.  This time was different.  The longer he stayed asleep, the more pained his expression became, and the more he sobbed and begged.

 

And he was begging.  Not the normal begging, Tommy noticed.  Adam was talking, as if having a conversation with someone.  “Please. I don’t know anything.  Just let me go.  Please.  I won’t tell anyone. I promise.  Just let me go.”

 

Tommy listened with a heavy heart.  The longer Adam talked, the more convinced Tommy became that not only did something terrible happen to Adam that was causing these nightmares, but it was something beyond Tommy’s comprehension.  Tommy had a sinking feeling in his gut that whatever these nightmares were about, they shaped the killing machine that Adam had become. 

 

“Please.  Stop.  Just kill me.  I can’t take it anymore,”  Adam said between sobs.

 

“What the hell did they do to you?”  Tommy whispered to himself. 

 

Tommy needed to wake Adam up.  The longer he went on, the louder he got.  It was only a matter of time before someone came knocking on the cabin door.  He looked around as he thought.  He didn’t want to frighten Adam upon waking, but letting him wake up on his own wasn’t happening, so Tommy did the only thing he could think of.  He slapped Adam right across the cheek. 

 

He didn’t hit Adam hard, but it was enough to do the trick.  Adam’s eyes opened wide, and he took a large gasp of air.  His eyes were red and swollen from the nocturnal tears.  He was disoriented, but calm.  Tommy sat back on his knees until Adam’s mind caught up with his consciousness.

 

“You hit me,”  Adam said as his eyes cleared of their haze, and he recognized his surroundings again. 

 

“I had to.  You were in a nightmare and wouldn’t wake up.  I was afraid it would draw someone’s attention,”  Tommy explained truthfully. 

 

Adam rubbed his eyes and rolled over to face Tommy.  “Thank you.”

 

Tommy looked at Adam, the look on his face asking Adam to tell him what the dreams were about.

 

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

 

Lying down beside Adam, Tommy rolled over so that he was looking into Adam’s eyes.  “Tell me what happened to you.”

 

“I said I don’t want to talk about it.”

 

“Tell me.  Please.”

 

“Tommy, I don’t-”  he was cut off before he could finish his denial.

 

“You can trust me, Adam.  I love you.  I want you to unburden yourself with me.  Let me try to take away some of the pain.”

 

Adam sat silent for a moment, contemplating Tommy’s words.  “I don’t want to.”

 

“It’s not just you anymore, Adam.  It’s us.  You don’t have to carry this alone.  Let me help you.”

 

The look on Tommy’s face must have been pleading enough, because Adam finally agreed to share his story.

 

“Ok.  I’ll tell you, but later.  I’m tired and just want to sleep it off right now.  I promise I’ll tell you as soon as we’re back home.  Is that ok?”

 

Tommy smiled and wrapped his arms tightly around Adam.  “Of course it is, baby.  Of course it is.”

 

They both slept peacefully the rest of the ride home. 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I promise I'll do better at answering comments.


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